The Great Mystery

There is something mysterious here; something I can sense or feel somehow when I slow down or stop my busy-ness on a bright cool and warm autumn day. When I pay attention, there is something wonderful that I want to absorb or be absorbed into. I want to share it with my children--I want them to know this wonderful, unknowable mystery. I know the mystery has to do with God, and is somehow God. I require my children to attend church, in part, for this reason--I know the Mystery of God is talked about there--maybe they will catch It, or He will catch them. The Mystery, however is somehow evasive, though perfectly attainable. It transcends the church. There are those who sit in the midst of It knowingly, and those who sleep in It unknowingly, and I have been and am both.
When a black and white striped insect lands clumsily on my shirt, as just now, with its constantly alternating up and down striped antennae, there is the Mystery! When I hear my toolshed door squeaking lazily in response to flowing air, which also whispers in the big live oak while the squirrel barks constantly in the woods nearby and the chickadee flutters and chirps overhead: In each of them individually and in all of them collectively--there is the Mystery!  And It is in me.
[A Cloudless Sulphur surveyed the yard, bright yellow sun reflecting off his wings, then disappeared over the housetop.]
Oh God, I long to absorb and be absorbed in the Mystery! I long to overcome dualism--the experience of being pulled away from the awareness of the Mystery, into the "mundane" world of routine. I pray that I might carry the sense of the mysterious --an awareness of its omnipresence--into all the phases and movements of my life; to accept the bleaker, sleeping states as a necessary element of the Mystery, giving It color and definition. I long to stop longing and to die in the Mystery. I long to rise above the fretful hurry of trying to get "this" done before it's time to do "that". What is "this" and "that" if not opportunities to fly on the wings of the Mystery--yea, the very Mystery Itself? When I am fully aware of the Mystery, then I am at one--I have atonement. Please Lord, make me willing to suffer, and to find peace in suffering, as in rest.

Birth of a Child

The world changed a little today. But just a little change in the world can be so significant. A little change in the climate, a small shift of its tilt, a few miles more distant from the sun---all could be majorly impactful. Today's change is a new life born into the human family; the most influential family on earth. What can this life mean? Think of Jesus, Buddha, Abraham Lincoln, Einstein, Billy Graham, Mother Teresa, Ghandi, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King, Jr. Or my mom, dad, grandmother--I can't count the number of lives that would be diminished without their influence.  A new world of potential has been born. And my deepest prayers go up to God and out to all those who will influence this life: Please God, may this life add to the Life, Love, Peace, and Joy You gladly impart to the human family as and to the degree that we open our hearts to You. May Nolan Bradley be a channel of the Light that shined upon the Garden of Eden, restoring some of the peace and innocence that existed there before we misused the freedom You gave us. Give us grace to impart to him the best that is within us; and may he multiply that goodness with his own unique gifts. Make the world a brighter place for many through this life, as it has already been brightened for us, his family, by his birth. Bless his parents to provide for him a shelter from emotional turmoil, so that his spirit can be free to blossom in the sunlight of peace and security. May he deeply absorb the Truth of Christ, that his soul may be sustained through the tribulations of this world that he will surely endure. And may all his tribulations serve to strengthen him into mature manhood and temper the tools of his personality, that they may used to minister, serve, and fashion a more heavenly existence on earth.
Nolan Bradley Graham. Born 10:50 AM, 1/28/2015 In the Year of Our Lord

Wings and a Chain

WINGS AND A CHAIN

Mark F. Graham

I can't remember the first time I saw him, with his wings and chain. At first he always seemed far away and easy to ignore. But as time passed he seemed to move in closer upon me, and I became more aware of him, and more fearful. Wherever I went he seemed to have either just been there, was there at the time of my arrival, or arrived soon afterwards. I could often see him off in the distance, waiting and watching, his chain in one hand and the wings in the other. It was the chain that scared me. Whenever I saw it, I quickened my pace and tried to distance myself from him. Sometimes he came so close I could hear the tinkle of the chain, and would cringe in fear, hiding in frantic activity. He never imposed, but I always knew he would be there when I slowed down and looked around. He seemed to have incredible patience, and, despite my avoidance, pursued me relentlessly.

Along the way it began to dawn on me that it was not good for a man to run and hide. It was tough to face however, because I knew, deep down, that I would have to confront him - and the chain. And the closer I came to the knowledge of that confrontation, the larger and heavier the chain appeared. I began to spend most of my time planning how to avoid the chain. The wings, however, continued to attract me to him.

It finally happened. I had run long and hard that day only to find that he was already there at the end of the run. I tried to hide in my regular pursuits, but they were meaningless, and the meaninglessness frustrated me, and I lashed out at him in anger and frustration. I gave him no time to speak, but immediately lambasted him with my conditions of our relationship. I confessed to him that he was certainly fascinating, and that there seemed to be some truth in what he represented, but I made it clear that we would progress on my terms. I began explaining to him why I should not and could not be subjected to the chain. But before I could complete my lengthy rationalization, I realized that he was offering the wings to me. He was holding the chain partially out of sight, behind his back, as if he knew it was offensive to me, and he was holding the wings out, toward me. I don't know how long he had been holding them out in that way, perhaps from the beginning of my monologue.

Then, a most amazing thing happened. I can't explain it. It changed my life. It happened when, while reaching out to take the wings, for the first time, I looked into his eyes. He did not seem to be offended, as I had expected. He was not angry. His eyes were not scolding me. He was not trying to convince me that I should take the chain, and he was not shaming me for not taking it. There was understanding in his eyes. It was as if he knew about the battles inside of me. It was as if he knew about the war. His eyes captivated and penetrated me and drew me into a world that I never knew existed - a fascinating, dazzling world, the brightness of which I could only bear for a moment. I withdrew quickly, in fear and embarrassment, from his gaze. My eyes fell to the ground at his feet. I felt both warm and cold inside at the same time. I dared not look into his eyes again, but rather hang-doggedly took the wings and turned away.

After a while, with the help of my new wings, I was able to shake the feeling that he had left inside me: the feeling of inferiority, of cowardice, and loose-endedness.

I flew far and high. And it was exciting - really exciting - for a while. But after a while it seemed that each time I took flight the air was hot and stale in my face, and unrefreshing, like diving into a hot swimming pool. And, even though I flew into many strange lands where I had never journeyed, there always seemed to be something wrong - something missing. The water would be polluted, or the air, or the climate was bad, or the people wouldn't look at your face when they spoke, or they appeared weakly and sick. Many places where I stopped had beautiful gardens and orchards with flowers and fruits, and, just as it seemed that I had found the right place, I would learn that the flowers were plastic and the fruit poisonous or cancerous. I would then feel restless and compelled to take flight again, into the hot, stale air, searching - searching - for what?

I began to remember, more and more frequently, the encounter with him, and the look in his eyes, and the chain. Occasionally I thought I could see him, way out on some horizon, still waiting and watching, with his chain. Sometimes I would think about flying to him, confronting him again, and trying to understand him. Perhaps I could get a new pair of wings. Mine were worn, frayed and soiled beyond repair, and had the stains of the pollution of the lands into which I had flown. But these thoughts came and went. I wasn't even sure my wings could make it to him, he always seemed so far away now.

I eventually settled in a land. I knew it wasn't the right place, but I had come to believe that there was no right place. So I determined to make it right. I chose a place that was as close as I could find to my ideal, and began to work to change what I perceived to be the problems. It was a long, hard, fruitless battle, and it left me worn out, tired, hopeless, and feeling sorry for myself. A group of townspeople, angered by my attempts to change the system, had carried me to the outskirts of town and dumped me at the edge of a slimy, oil-slicked pool. There was nowhere that I cared to go, even if my oil-soaked wings would have carried me.

As I tried to gather my thoughts and set a new goal, some objective, even a short-term objective, a place to go, some direction, anything, as I was wiping the slime from my face and groping away from the pool - I saw him! He was more radiant than I remembered. Peace enveloped him and flowed around him like a living, glowing gaseous liquid. He held the chain in his hand. Suddenly I knew that it was what was lacking, what I had needed, and that now I was ready for it, and that he knew all of that too, and that was why he was here. I realized that he had never been far away, that he had always been there, very close, waiting and watching. I realized that what had drawn me to him was his love, and what had driven me away was his truth, and that now it was time for the chain.

I stepped forward, and with shaky courage looked again into his eyes. The intensity was the same as before - even more. I felt the necessary conflict of love and truth, and their oneness, in the highest form. I felt something high and holy that I had left far behind, or never known existed - something that is the object of all growth, the only legitimate reason for striving, and the only solution to strife. In his eyes I saw the beginning of the path that I knew would lead to the place that I had always searched for. Yet I saw also that this path led through lands in which there were battles to fight, far tougher than any I had yet fought. But they were meaningful battles! And the beginning of the path was the chain. The chain was before me, meaninglessness in all other directions.

As I took my end of the chain from his outstretched hand, I noticed that there was no key-slot on the handcuff. The other end was already locked onto his wrist. As I locked my end onto my wrist, I felt for the first time since I could remember that I had done something right, in the real sense of the word. I felt strengthened inwardly. And I was delighted to see that I had a brand new pair of wings!

I've been flying with him now for some time. The chain was quite cumbersome at first, and I kept flying off in the wrong direction, only to be snatched back by it, like a young dog his first time on a leash. But he has led me into some beautiful places that I could have never found on my own. And as we travel together, his way becomes my way, and I often forget about the chain, except occasionally when I see a place that looks so good as we travel by, and I think that I would like to stop in for a "break", or some "excitement"; it is the knowledge of the chain that keeps me from making those mistakes. I am thankful that there is no way to remove the chain, for there have been times when I would have, when he leads me into battles or over cold mountain ranges, and it seems that we are never going to arrive. But always we have arrived - in always more beautiful places. And something I had never experienced – joy – began blossoming in my soul.

The chain has evolved into an invisible living cord connecting his heart with mine. He flies into some places that I am not yet capable of going, and I am still unable to look into his eyes for more than a few moments. But I have learned enough about him to know that he is the way, the truth, and the life, just like he said. The chain, which I feared, has become my only freedom, giving meaning to the flight of my wings. I don't know exactly where he is taking me, but I travel on joyfully with him, learning more and more about him, taking more and more of him into me. I look forward to the time when my love and courage will be strong enough to face up to all the truth, so that I will be able to look into his eyes, fully and completely at one with him in his freedom.

Mark F. Graham

Truth Story

We talk a lot, but we don't really say that much. What do we talk about? Sports. Entertainment. Eating and drinking, etc. Fluff n stuff that occupies us but doesn't feed our souls. We have within us tho, a hunger for something. A yearning, because we know there's more available to us. And we are blessed if we tune in, consciously, to that yearning. If we try to figure out why we feel so sad, frustrated, unfulfilled. If we stop blaming other people for that, and take responsibility for what goes on in our own skin. In other words, if we become a serious truth-seeker. Then we hear about a man who said I am the Truth. And, of course, being a truth-seeker we focus on him—his life and teachings. And its refreshing, in all the fluff n stuff of human discourse, to hear some words of substance: Word like “In the beginning was the Word, and Word was with God, and Word was God, and it became flesh and lived with us for a time.” We hear this One say that he came from the place where everything has come from. And that its a lovely perfect place where this yearning that we have always felt in our hearts is fulfilled completely. A place where everything good and beautiful on this earth exists in magnified form, and all that is evil and wrong is burned up in a consuming fire of truth. We hear in the voice of this One something that resonates deep within us as being eternally and ultimately good. But we also see that he was hated. Because the goodness in him exposed the evil that had infiltrated the human family—the evil that loathed being exposed, because it loses its power in the light of truth; and power was the fuel that it operated on. And so, those who were blinded and consumed in this evil plotted against him, tried to trick him, trip him up, so he'd say or do something that was against the “rules” they'd made up, cause in that day, as in this day in some places, if you disobey the “rules” you get put to death. Problem was they couldn't trick Him because you can't trick Truth, 'cause any way you come at it, it is only the truth. So they trumped up some charges against him and nailed him to a cross. But not before they beat Him to within an inch of his life, spat on him, and made fun of him. None of it changed Him however, being the Truth: He prayed for them. And He had already sown the seeds into this world that continue to grow, and by any reasonable estimation, will always be growing in the human family. The seeds that bear the fruit in our souls of everything we'd been looking for in all the wrong places; the fruit that deeply satisfies the souls of those who sincerely seek and submit to it. But this Truth confronts evil. And we've all got some of it in us. And, of course, evil doesn't want to be confronted. We see that we have it because we don't love each other properly, and love is the essence of Truth. We hurt each other, we are selfish and self-centered, all the while bragging about how much we do. We work hard to get someone to love and admire us, and we don't lift a finger to do the work of loving others. We complain about how badly we've been treated because of the evil in this world—the same evil that we overlook in ourselves. We feel entitled to good service, and we hate to serve. We can be mean and insensitive at times. We want pleasure and comfort and we hate to work, even tho work is love made visible. We live in secret inner fear of what life might do to us, and about death. The Truth exposes all this in us. And so it's easier to keep our head down, not look too deeply into Truth, and hope that we can somehow muddle thru with the little human knowledge we've stored up in our little finite brains that we did not create. And evil loves that, 'cause it can only operate in the darkness of that blindness. And so we keep spinning our wheels, going down one dead-end street after another. And we become like those that He prayed for: Father, please forgive them, because they don't know what they are doing. And we sure need that forgiveness, if what He said is true. Because one thing He said is that we all, sooner or later must face that Truth in its purest and most powerful form. And there won't be any place to hide from it. And for those who have sincerely sought it and submitted themselves to it, that will be heaven. But for those who have fearfully avoided it, it will be hell. The same Truth: heaven for some, hell for others.

The Reconciling Power of Christ

Below is a link to Smithsonian.mag depicting an amazing WWI event that reveals the power of Christ to break down the dividing walls between enemies. It's as if for a few hours on Christmas Eve, the Eternal Truth of Christ emerged and transformed enemies into friends. How wonderful if we could live in that Reality [the Kingdom of God, ushered in by Christ] permanently!


http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-story-of-the-wwi-christmas-truce-11972213/?no-ist=

Growing More Mature: New Year's Resolution

Humans don't mature naturally.  We grow into adulthood physically without effort [except perhaps to stay alive and take care of ourselves physically]. But we do not become mature human beings without conscious effort and application of certain principles--the principles of Love and Truth. Unlike the other creatures of this earth, we cannot live by instinct, impulse or feelings. There are aspects of our personality that are not safe for us or others, and that are not conducive to ultimate happiness and peace.  When we look at our children and adolescents, we see these bad seeds of selfishness, judgmentalism, competitiveness, defensiveness, cruelty, hedonism, laziness, unfairness, and deceptiveness ["sneaking around"].  [It is why, for instance, that my eight year old grandson runs upstairs, as he did just now, when his grandmother started talking about certain chores that needed to be done.] This is why we consider parenting a necessity.   These traits don't simply fade away as we grow into adulthood. We recognize them in our adult selves also; and we know that we cannot give in to them. If we do not consciously weed out or suppress these aspects of our personality, we become adolescent-children in adult bodies; and we wreak havoc in the world. When we are born again in Christ, our first [painful] realization is that we are "sinners".  This simply means that we recognize the truth about ourselves.  We are not good. And no matter how hard we try, we continue to have the downward pull of these tendencies in us. We cannot eliminate them any more than we can eliminate gravity. Jesus' life and teachings are primarily to awaken us to this reality. We are not innately good. Thankfully we are offered His Spirit to enlighten and empower us to progressively overcome our sinful nature. This is called "sanctification" or the ongoing purification of our personalities. If we are not enlightened in this way, we continue to create many problems for ourselves and others, and usually either suffer chronic guilt or blame others for it. When we come into Christ and begin this wonderful, important process, we are repeatedly amazed at the depth and tenacity of our sinful nature. We see level after level of selfishness and myriad manifestations of darkness in us. As the Apostle Paul came to understand, we realize that we are "wretched" creatures.  The unredeemed mind refuses to acknowledge this reality--will not face the pain of it.  Indeed, without a sufficient realization of God's love for us, even in the light of His full awareness of the ugliness of our sinful nature, none of us could bear to look at it. This is the great wonder and beyond amazing beauty of  Christ's provision for us: He has taken all the ugliness of the sin of the entire human family upon Himself and destroyed it spiritually at Calvary. Therefore, when we enter into Him through faith, we are cleansed from all of it and become beloved children of God. We still have the sinful tendencies, but we are now capable, through His Holy Spirit, entering us through faith in Him, to progressively emerge from the darkness of its effects upon us, into the Light of Christ's righteousness. And even though we do not become perfect beings in that moment, we enter into His perfect Spirit that has "overcome the world", and we are delivered from condemnation without being in denial. The great paradoxical miracle is that we know that we are sinners; and we simultaneously know that we are forgiven, free, and clean in the sight of our Creator. In fact, the more in touch we are with the reality of our darkness, the more thankful and glad we are for God's love; and the more we are willing to love others with His Love.  We've done the best we can do when we acknowledge the truth about ourselves and received Christ as our Savior; and God, of course, knows it.
Then we start to become mature human beings--to fulfill the potential that God has placed within us.
What does this maturity look like? It looks like Christ Himself, Who went about doing good, washed His disciples' feet, came to serve rather than to be served, took pity on the downtrodden, loved the unlovable, served those who had nothing to offer Him, was not intimidated by the powerful, intelligent, evil leaders of His day, and lived in Truth even though it cost Him an excruciating death.  On a practical level, it means that we learn how to be OK when we do not get what we want [from our mate, boss, life, etc.]; it means that we do not return bad behavior [or attitude] for bad behavior [or attitude]; it means that we do not have adult temper tantrums; it means that we are able to serve [put dishes in the dishwasher, work, take the dog for a walk, clean up after the kids, etc.] without resentment; it means that we have concerns extending beyond our self and immediate family--concerns for those suffering in ways we have never had to suffer--and that we use the channels established to minister to those people; it means that we do not allow ourselves to be absorbed in meaningless entertainment; it means that we do not waste our time wishing we had somebody else's life [envying]; it means that we take time to step out of the busy-ness of life long enough to prayerfully evaluate our way of being in the world; it means that we practice compassion and gratitude as consciously chosen disciplines; it means that we discipline our anger and let go of or properly channel our frustration; it means that we stay mindful of the fact that, even though life is difficult, we are tremendously blessed to have been given this unspeakable gift, and that the Giver is good beyond all human good, and loves beyond all human love, and that, therefore, "all is well, and all is well, and all shall ever be well".  Above all, it means that we consciously choose, over and over again, in every moment, to love our people---the human family---with the Love of Christ; and that we refuse to allow anything in us or in others prevent that Love from flowing through us like a healing, cleansing river of Living Water that washes away everything in us that is not free, peaceful, joyful, and fit for heaven.
May we be resolved to become more mature this year.