Common Sense

I recently read this statement: "You don't have to have an academic degree to have common sense." I agree--to a certain extent. But I remember another statement I read some years ago: "Common sense is what tells us that the earth is flat and the sun and stars revolve around it." If you conflate these statements, you might conclude that common sense, followed to its ultimate extent, tells us that we must look deeply into some aspects of life, holding an open mind, and not being too dogmatic about too many things. Some dogmatically held on to the flat earth principle to the extent that they persecuted those who held otherwise.
There are a few things that I am dogmatic about. Only a few. One is that the ultimate Truth is very good--better than we can yet totally experience. My very existence is the only confirmation of that that I need. Beyond my existence however is exorbitant evidence that the Truth is good: manhood and womanhood, the existence of the experience of "beauty", and humor, laughter and playfulness, the feelings that we have for our children, the amazing resilience and stamina we have to overcome the worst of life's tribulations, the fact that we can perceive in ourselves a psycho-spiritual evolution---a progressive enlightenment---albeit slower than we might hope. We had absolutely nothing to do with any of these except that we benefit from the gift of them. I have come to trust deeply the goodness of the Power [the Truth] by which this life and these experiences came into existence. I am dogmatic about that. And since the best that I can perceive within myself and my fellow humans is Love, in its most evolved manifestations, I am dogmatic about the belief that the ultimate Power, the ultimate Truth, is exclusively this Love, because the best in me, and the ability to perceive such a fact, would be the gift of that Power.
When I read the New Testament [something every true seeker of Truth must do] these facts that I am dogmatic about are confirmed---especially in the life and teachings of Jesus. He said that He is the Truth. And He lived a life of perfect Love in human form. He commanded His followers to love each other, and even their enemies. {Mt. 5:44] And He taught us that God is Love.[John 3:16, 1John 4:8].
When I live in the Light of this Truth, I find a peace that I desire for everyone that I love. And in Him, I love everyone. This is like coming Home. It is to find and inwardly experience true freedom.
Then we have good common sense, infused with wisdom and humility.

Political and Social Polarization

This video expresses the philosophy of Jordan Peterson and intelligently explores the current political polarization. I obviously recommend it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trhTbEs2GGE 

My comments would be: We have come to focus too much on "rights" and too little on "responsibilities". This is Jordan Peterson's message, and it's a very accurate and important one. In this left-leaning social environment, the Christian faith has been ignored, demeaned, misrepresented and identified with a rigid and stultifying component of conservatism rather than the unifying, liberating and life-enhancing power that it actually is for those who go deeply into it.  Christianity, the way I and many people in my circle understand and experience it, seems to be the primary, if not only, influence in the human family that can unify us without force or violence while simultaneously maintaining and even enhancing the beauty and value of all cultural sub-types. Jesus described His Way as "yeast in a lump of dough". Without it we risk a revolutionary explosion of the suppressed frustrations that accrue to normal spiritless living in ANY political or economic system. The problem is not the "system". The problem is the individual soul. When that is transformed [which Christ does wonderfully and thoroughly] then the world becomes what it can and should be, and what we have always wanted it to be. Otherwise we continue to unconsciously project, and set up and destroy straw men; tilting at windmills. Then we create something that is as [or more] pathological than the "system" that we destroyed. History is replete with this cycle.

Night-time Prayer

Lord, it is night.

The night is for stillness. Let us be still in the presence of God.

Difficulty sleeping?  Pray this prayer meditatively. Let the words go deep and come from deep within you. 

It is night after a long day.

What has been done has been done; what has not been done has not been done; 

let it be.

The night is dark.

I bring my fears of the darkness of this world and of my own life to

rest in you.

The night is quiet.

I allow the quietness of your peace to enfold me,

and pray for all who are dear to me to be enfolded in Your peace,

and for all who have no peace.

The night heralds the dawn.

I look expectantly with secure hope to a new day,

new joys,

new possibilities.

In Christ Jesus' holy name I pray.

Amen.

Religious Wars?

It's ridiculous to blame any human violence on a religion whose progenitor was Himself non-violent and taught His followers to love their enemies, bless those who curse them, do good to those who would hate them, and pray for those who would despitefully use and persecute them (Matthew 5:44). The earliest disciples and followers elaborated on His teachings, inspired by His Spirit, and commanded followers not to return evil for evil, nor to be overcome by evil, but rather to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:17, 21; 1Thessalonians 5:15; 1Peter 3:9). Jesus would not even allow His followers to use the sword to protect Him when He was taken into custody at night by a vigilante party operating under trumped up and blatantly false charges (Luke 22:50-51).  His primary command was that we are to love each other as He loved us and gave His life for us (John 15:12-13).
We must not blame wars on the Christ of the Bible; rather we must recognize that wars come from the evil that He exposed in the human heart, elaborated on by His half-brother and disciple, James, who stated that wars come from inner desires and lust for power and pleasure (James 4). Wars come from the desire for land, resources and power; certainly not from the love of Christ. And the fact that Christianity could ever be used to promote any form of violence is a testimony to the evil exposed by Christ and more generally in the entire Bible. The Jews, who follow what we call the Old Testament, which is certainly a more violent scripture than the New Testament, are nevertheless one of the least violent and most beneficial people groups on the planet (and strangely, one of the most hated people groups). Even though Jews comprise only .2% of the worlds population, they have been awarded 22.5% of the 900+ Nobel Prizes which  are widely regarded as the most prestigious awards available in the fields of chemistry, literature, peace activism, physics, and physiology or medicine. This makes sense in light of the fact that the God of the Old Testament is the God Who promised the Messiah, Christ of the New Testament; and even though the psycho-spiritual growth of humans has been slow and violent, we see the Spirit of the Old Testament God in Christ Who lived and preached love as the highest good.  It is irrational to blame Christianity--the teachings of Christ--for the wars and violence of this world. Islam is a different story because Mohammed was a warlord and the Quran tells a different story about God and Christ than the Bible relates. Every true Christian is offended when Christianity is lumped together with Islam in statements blaming "all religions" for the problems of this world. An objective account of Christianity reveals that enormous good has come and continues to be rendered to the human family because of Christ's teachings. The fact that our democracy has emerged in large part from Judeo-Christianity is indisputable. It is in the fulfillment of the Christian religion, not in its eradication, that we will find peace in the human family. Instead of blaming Christians for wars and violence, it would be wiser to encourage them to be better Christians.

Love and Respect in Marriage

I was going to write about love and respect but I found an article that expresses it beautifully. [below link]  The only other thing I would point out is the vicious cycle generated by spouses when they do not love and respect each other. As the article points out, biblically speaking, men are to love  their wives, and wives to respect their husbands. Men need respect, women need love. It is hard for a man to love a woman who does not respect him; and it is hard for a woman to respect a man with whom she feels unloved. So you see the downward spiral this could create. It can be reversed by either partner who is willing to practice the required discipline even if his/her spouse is not practicing it. This is not something to be tried once or twice and then collapse into "This is not working!" It's a good practice even your spouse never responds positively. It's good for you. It's God's will for us to "love our enemies" and to not return evil for evil. You become a better person when you do not allow your spouses' failures to determine your attitude and behavior.  This does not mean that one should tolerate and submit to chronic abuse. Abuse should be sternly confronted; and the abusive partner must come to understand the counter-productive outcome of abuse and discipline him/herself to eradicate abusive behaviors, words, gestures and even attitudes from his/her personality. This is the work of the Holy Spirit--very important work! It is work motivated by love, even for the abuser. We don't stop loving our mate with Christ's Love when they lapse into abuse, because Christ doesn't stop loving them. But we must be careful to protect ourselves, and especially our children from abuse. Love is manifested as a strong intolerance for abuse.
Read more in the below well-written article.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/love-and-respect

Earth and Soul

Cancer cells are what we might describe as narcissistic. Unlike healthy cells that work in cooperation with the other cells and organs in the organism, and self-limit on behalf of the whole, cancer cells continue to consume and reproduce at the expense of the organism that hosts them, to the point of destroying their host organism--and themselves in the process.
Humans can, of course, learn a valuable lesson from this: Unless we limit our relentless consumption of the earth's resources for the benefit of our comfort and pleasure, we might become the cancer cells of planet earth. We've moved through the Industrial Revolution into the Technological Revolution. It seems that if we do not now embrace a Spiritual Revolution [actually made more possible by our Technological Revolution] our quality of life will begin to deteriorate along with our planet.
The Bible teaches contentment with food, clothing and shelter. All great spiritual teachers possessed little and were exceedingly peaceful and joyful. Most busy Americans long for a simpler life but seem addicted to fast-paced excitement and the constant challenge of more, bigger and better things to satisfy egoistic cravings and stave off boredom. The "Economy", dependent upon constant economic growth, must no longer be our god--the deciding factor behind all our decisions. The subterranean fountains of spiritual enlightenment are springing forth across the human landscape, and the Living Water is there for those who thirst and seek.  As we are transformed, we become agents of transformation, and we become more aligned with the satisfying power of Love by which the earth and the universe operate. And there are hints in the Bible that the earth itself is healed by the healing of the human soul. {Rom. 8:20-23} In my lifetime, Lake Pontchartrain, near my home, has been cleaned up to the point that it is swimmable most of the time. This seems like a light of hope and a reminder of what we can do.

God Is Love

Christianity may be summarized [with the understanding that all summarizations reduce broad reality into a small space at the cost of some broader understanding] as follows:
God, the great "I Am", is.
The "I Am" intervened in humanity through a small culture of relatively insignificant, from the worldly power standpoint, humans.
"I Am" started a process of delivering them from the darkness of tribalistic violence by empowering them to overcome other tribalistic peoples and giving them a set of commandments that constituted a moral/ethical code for prospering them, and eventually all nations.
In the course of their slow awakening, "I Am" began insinuating into their consciousness the concept of a coming Messiah who would deliver them and eventually all the nations of the earth from the darkness of spiritual blindness that resulted in immense self-inflicted suffering.
That Messiah has come with the supreme teaching that "I Am" loves all of us with the love of a maximally evolved parent for his/her child--the greatest imaginable human love; and He taught us [and continues to teach through His Holy Spirit within us] to love each other with the Love that He demonstrated in human history: sacrifice of Self and only Son for the maximal common good.
This Love is the only doctrine. It fulfills all the commands and prophetic revelations. It is the only way of being that delivers us from the unnecessary suffering that we inflict upon ourselves.
So the apostle John, who was spared martyrdom and lived to an old age as an exile on a small island, having much time to contemplate what he had experienced with the Messiah, Jesus, writes:
"Beloved, let us love each other, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God, and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is Love." 1 John 4:7-8.

Mormonism and Jehovah Witnesses

Below is a link to a former Mormon who found salvation in Christ. He was on his mission journey when this happened. His whole family was Mormon: his mother a professor at Brigham Young Univ., his father a high priest in the Mormon church. He gives his remarkable testimony in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0mckI8Xfl8

Below is a link to a very compassionate and Spirit-led witness to some Jehovah Witnesses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUfT9QdSUOs

Deliverance

Jesus delivers us from living under the curse of our judgements and criticisms of each other. He delivers us first from judging and criticizing; then He delivers us from living under the curse of others' judgements and criticisms, even those in our own household. Love confronts and exposes difficult truth, but always with compassion. Love is not defensive because it only seeks the Truth; and receives that truth, no matter how harshly it is offered. Love is powerful enough to receive the difficult truth spoken to it, while forgiving the speaker for the spirit in which that truth is spoken. Love is discerning enough to receive only truth, for sometimes others, in their anger or spiritual blindness, make accusations that are not true. We forgive them for this, and we are careful not to return evil for evil--judgment and criticism for judgment and criticism, while also being careful to own whatever truth is spoken to us.  Love keeps us free and peaceful in this Truth. Jesus said "I am the Truth..." Ultimate Truth and Love are synonymous.

Alcohol: What Does the Bible Say?

The below is copied from Crosswalk.com

Question. What does the Bible say about drinking alcohol?

Answer. There’s a very simple answer to this question when it comes to teens drinking: It’s against the law. Alcohol is absolutely off-limits until you’re 21.

God commands us to obey laws like these when He says, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established." (Romans 13:1) If you disobey the law, then you’re also disobeying God. This includes the use of any illegal substance.

But what about after you turn 21? Is it okay for a Christian to drink then? Although there are some situations in which the Bible forbids alcohol, it never says that alcohol is always wrong. Since the Bible doesn’t absolutely forbid alcohol, whether or not you should drink as an adult becomes a personal decision you have to make for yourself.

Although I cannot make that decision for you, I can share with you 6 things the Bible does say about drinking alcohol:

1. The Bible allows Christians to drink alcohol for medical reasons.

Paul told Timothy, "Stop drinking only water and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illness." (1 Timothy 5:23) 

2. The Bible sometimes portrays alcohol as something good and enjoyable.

Jesus’ first miracle involved turning water into wine for a wedding celebration. (John 2:3-11) Psalm 104 says, "He makes grass to grow for the cattle, and plants for man to cultivate—bringing forth food from the earth; wine that gladdens the heart of man, oil to make his face shine, and bread that sustains his heart." (v. 14-15)

3. The Bible forbids drunkenness.

Although the Bible never says that alcohol itself is sinful, it does say many times that drunkenness is a sin. God says, "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." (Ephesians 5:6) In fact, there are many verses in the Bible which speak out against drunkenness. (For a few examples, see Romans 13:13; Galatians 5:19-21; 1 Peter 4:3.)

4. The Bible forbids drinking if it offends fellow believers.

God explains in Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8 that we should be considerate of other Christians who have different convictions than we do. Some Christians believe that alcohol is always sinful. And their convictions should be respected. God says, "If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit...Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification....It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall." (Romans 14:15-21) That verse says it loud and clear: Don’t drink alcohol if it will offend a brother or sister in Christ. This speaks to the issue of drinking in the presence of someone who is struggling to abstain or in recovery.

5. The Bible forbids drinking if it hinders the gospel.

Paul explained in 1 Corinthians 9 that even though he was allowed to eat and drink anything he wanted, he was very careful not to do things that would hinder the gospel of Christ. He said, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many a possible. "I became all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings." (1 Corinthians 9:19-23)If I was trying to witness to someone who thought it was bad for Christians to drink, there’s no way I would drink alcohol in front of that person!

6. The Bible warns that drinking is often dangerous and unwise.

The Bible contains lots of warnings about how tempting and dangerous it is to get involved with alcohol. A wise mother told her son, "It is not for kings, O Lemuel - not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what the law decrees, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights." (Proverbs 31:4-5) And Solomon, one of the wisest men who’ve ever lived, said, "Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper." (Proverbs 23:31) 

These Bible passages suggest that it is often wise to totally stay away from alcohol since it can be a difficult thing to control. Alcohol can easily seduce you, and before you know it, it controls you. How many girls have had a few drinks and then ended up in bed with a strange man? How many adults have had a few drinks and then ended up in a serious car accident?

These situations are all too common. God is looking out for you when He warns you about the dangers of alcohol and drunkenness. Getting drunk causes you to lose control of yourself and do things - dangerous things - that you wouldn’t do if you were sober.

I think it is possible to live a godly life and enjoy a small amount of alcohol. But the person who chooses not to drink at all also lives a godly life, as long as he does it without condemning those who do.

Bravo to those of you who take some time to seek God’s will about drinking.

Social Media: Proper Use

Here's a 15 minute video of Eckhart Tolle speaking about social media's pros and cons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k812V97Tz4

Civility

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9

A gentle answer deflects anger,

but harsh words make tempers flare. Proverbs 15:1 [NLT]

These are important words for our time from the Bible, God's Holy Word. There is harsh polarization in our times, and the danger that this hostility can escalate into violence should concern all of us. We see in history and in many parts of our world today the devastating effects of violence spawned by hostility and polarization. America has achieved an astounding and wonderful ability to disagree and still shake hands because we have been in touch, perhaps in a more profound way in the past than today, with the importance of unity and the common goals that unite us.

All people who desire freedom and a peaceful society should diligently practice civility. Hate feeds on hate; and hateful words project hate. Civility is “formal politeness in behavior and speech”. Speak truth. But remember that all necessary truth can be communicated with civility; and the message is more likely to be heard and properly responded to when spoken respectfully—even, perhaps especially –to those who are not practicing civility. Humility is a necessary component also because none of us has the exclusive corner on all truth. We must be willing to listen to those differing from us, even if we don't agree. Please be a “peacemaker” in your social communications, and encourage others to do so also. Some of them will hear. And you will be doing something important for our world.

Mark Graham

[Please share]

Healing Division

We are all Americans, more importantly, we are all humans—of the same family—and we MUST NOT BECOME VIOLENTLY DIVIDED AGAINST EACH OTHER. All sane people want peace--within themselves and in their relationships. There are some insane, or unawakened people in the world; but they need ministry, not hatred; and not fear, which is at the root of much hatred. Hatred does not minister to blindness; it deepens it and hardens it and is used to falsely justify it. This is why Jesus commands us to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and pray for those who despitefully use and persecute us [Matthew 5:44]. His Spirit, this Spirit, pours water, vs. gasoline, on the fires of blindness; shines Light into that darkness rather than being absorbed by it and caught up in it. In our time, as in all times, this message, this understanding is immensely important.

Jesus was not encouraging weakness or passivity. He was certainly neither. Divine strength is manifested as love for one's enemies. Our battle is not against humans, it is against the evil that resides in ALL humans. And if we do not start with our own evil, the “beam”, as Jesus said, that is in our own eye, we will contribute to the problems in our world rather than the solution to them. The willingness to look deeply and honestly into the evil potential of one's own sinful nature is a necessary prerequisite to spiritual growth. “All have sinned” the Bible says. If we say otherwise, we lie and deceive ourselves. As we take responsibility for our own character defects and look to God to help us in the lifelong process of overcoming them, we are able to bring some Light into the world. The process of self honesty is a necessary aspect of the process of growth. And it is difficult to face one's darkness if he has no concept of Grace. Without Grace, introspection can lead to despair, which is why so many fail to look honestly at themselves. “It's not me! It's them!” they scream. Jesus offers Grace, and requires honesty and Love.

We must not be defensive blamers. We can never be free in that darkness. And a society with too many of them cannot be free. Their pathology requires external control, and the drift toward tyranny or anarchy begins. We do not fear this, but we recognize it, and work against it by being awake, aware, responsible and free. We live and try to facilitate the Truth of Christ; the Light of Christ; the Hope of our world.

Mark Graham

Our Hope

A king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.
The war horse is a vain hope for victory, and by its great might it cannot save. Psa 33:16-17

Until, and for a while after the advent of nuclear weapons and rockets that could travel at unprecedented speeds, we in America had a great sense of security based upon what appeared to be invulnerability to any hostile world power. We see now the fallibility of placing our trust in the powers of man. We see the wisdom of the ancient scripture quoted above. When I read this verse I see Russian President Putin with the giant screen behind him depicting nuclear weapons evading defense barriers and encircling the globe and pronouncing: "You didn't listen to us. Listen to us now."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qldhOHjxsI

For world leaders to continue to escalate war power rhetoric is now nothing short of insane. Saber-rattling is obsolete because the sabers that are being rattled would destroy the earth. No one would win.

What will save us is an ever-deepening understanding of what Christ, our Messiah has brought to us--His very Spirit of Love, Grace, and Peace that unifies us while preserving our uniqueness as individuals and nations. The Holy Spirit of the God of this universe, Who transcends all nationalities and people groups and commands us to love each other, being lived out through the personalities of a growing number of humans on this earth: this is our only hope. This is the true meaning of evangelism: the effort and work that we do to increase the Love of God in the hearts of humans. Those who carry this Living Word in their hearts are the true frontline warriors of our time--perhaps of all time. The military will be necessary until the missionaries' work is done and all people realize that we are one family, sharing a beautiful earth and an eternal Spirit.

LCA 2018 Handout

Session 19: Christian Spirituality in Therapy

Mark Graham, M.Div, Ed.D., Covington, LA

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

Discover clients affinity for faith.

Some questions for intake form:

1. Do you have a religious affiliation?

2. Is faith in God an important factor in your life?

3. Would you like to incorporate prayer and Scripture into our sessions?

Feel free to discuss matters of faith with your counselor, or ask any questions about it.

Opening and closing prayers: [with requested permission]

Example of Opening Prayer:

Holy Father/Lord Jesus/Heavenly Father/Creator and Lord of All:

Thank You for giving us life. We recognize that we did not create ourselves nor this beautiful earth that supplies all we need for biological existence. We are thankful for the gift of life. And thank You for the beauty that is all around us. Help us to see this beauty, and to recognize it as a gift of love from You. Thank you for the gifts of music and humor. Thank You that we can laugh...and cry. Thank You for the gift of feelings. Even though some of them are difficult and painful, we know that emotions are a gift also. Please help us to be mindful of our eternal souls—our heart-of-hearts—and to cultivate Love and good will, as You have commanded us, so that we can avail ourselves of the gifts you have promised us: abundant life, peace and joy. Please help us measure our spiritual growth by how well we are loving others, and how much we are growing in the inner experience of peace, joy and abundant life. We accept that this life will not be easy. You told us we would have tribulation in this world. We know that to be true. But You also commanded us to, nevertheless, be of good cheer for You have overcome the world. And You are in us and we are in You. In Your Holy Spirit we also overcome the trials and tribulations of life. Help us therefore to maintain a vibrant hope. We renew our commitment to love the people in our sphere of influence. Whatever our suffering, may we rest assured that we can fulfill Your purposes in our lives. We pray Your blessings upon this session. Please focus us on those things that will be most helpful for our spiritual growth in all areas that are most pleasing to You. Help us to be mindful of Your love for us and for all in our sphere of influence. May our lives always be guided by your Love, Truth and Goodness.

In Christ's Holy name,

Amen

Alternative example of opening prayer:

Jesus promised to be with “two or more who are gathered in my name.” {Matthew 18:20}

Lord, we are gathered in your name.

Thank you for your presence with us.

We ask you to give each of us here a deep inner sense of your presence—your spirit—your profound love for us and for everyone in our sphere of influence.

You have encouraged us to ask, in your name, for what we need. {John 14:13}

We ask for wisdom, and that we might be guided by your Love and Truth.

Help us to face our fears.

Help us see ourselves as we truly are, especially our sinful natures that are weak and blind.

Help us to remember that you love us despite our faults, and are ready to help us overcome.
Help us not to condemn ourselves as we look honestly into our souls.

Thank you for forgiveness and grace!

In obedience to you we also forgive all who have hurt us in any way.

Keep us in your perfect peace. Amen

Example of Post-Session [closing] Prayer:

Lord we thank You for the opportunity to open our hearts deeply in this way, knowing that You are with us to help us deal with whatever has come forth in a healthy and healing manner. Whatever Truth has come forth in this session, may it be a seed planted in the fertile, receptive soil of our souls. May it take root and grow, bearing the fruit of Your Spirit within us: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control. May we be more of everything You created us to become for having gathered ourselves here. May Your will be done in our hearts and minds and lives, and on earth, as it is in Heaven. And may Your Name be praised forever and ever.

Amen

Scripture that is particularly applicable in the counseling process:

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES

Regarding the primary goal of the Christian life:

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

{Jesus} John 13:35

Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. This I command you: that you love one another; as I have loved you, love one another. [Jesus] John 15:12-14

Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you. Do good to those who hate you; and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be the children of your Father in heaven. [Jesus] Matthew 5:44-45.

Jesus said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command.

The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.

All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.” Matthew 22:37-40

Beloved let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God for God is love. 1John 4:7-8

St. Augustine: "Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul."

de Chardin: “Someday, after mastering the wind, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love; and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”

Some powerful verses that are liberating and healing:

In the world you will have tribulation; nevertheless be of good cheer. I have overcome the world.

{John 16:33} Breaks down a mindset of entitlement—to life being easier. Moves us toward acceptance of the innate difficulty of life; and, paradoxically, diminishes suffering—the suffering of non-acceptance. Brings forth the power of acceptance. Cheerfulness is a choice.

I am in you, you in me, and I in the Father. {John 14:20} We also can overcome the world! He is in us. This is profound for those who can receive it.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. {Romans 8:1} We must not condemn ourselves or others, nor receive it from others. To condemn is to judge as damnable; render a guilty verdict.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. {Proverbs 4:23}

We can guard our hearts from toxic relational energy: blame, verbal abuse, criticism, etc.

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. {1John 1:8-9} Breaks down denial. Heals guilt and shame. Emphasize “cleanse”.

Who perceives his unintentional sins? Cleanse me from my hidden faults. {Psalms 19:12} The writer shows great wisdom in acknowledging character defects that have not come into consciousness. C.G. Jung — 'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.'

Love your enemies, bless those who curse you; do good to those who hate you and pray for those who despitefully use you, that you may be the children of your Father in heaven. {Matthew 5:44}

This is helpful for Christian couples who have “fallen out of love” or who don't feel love toward each other. De-emphasizes the romantic concept of love. Also for anyone trapped in hatred of any person. We can hate sin; but not a person. Love is a choice. Jesus, in his love for us, gives us no excuse not to love.

We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. {Romans 8:28}

Sometimes we can see the good that comes from our suffering; sometimes not. Faith reminds us that we will, at some point, see the good in all of it.

Can you find some redeeming value in your tribulations/sufferings? Then there is something to be thankful for---which justifies the following verse:

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. {1 Thessalonians 5:18} “If we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little. And if we didn't learn anything, at least we didn't get sick. And if we got sick, at least we didn't die.” There is always something to be thankful for.

Why is it so easy for you to see the speck in your brother's [spouse's] eye, but so difficult to see the beam in your own eye. Don't be a hypocrite. Get the beam out of your own eye first, then you can see more clearly how to help your loved one get the speck out of there's. {Matthew 7:3-5}

Addresses the blame and defense dynamic: “It's not me; it's you.” Helps couples learn to lead with confession rather than criticism or blame.

Brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. {Philippians 4:8} So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. [2Cor.4:18].

Here is a major component of CBT—the cognitive component—that calls us into mindfulness. What composes our thought life? Peace is promised [Phil 4:9] if we shift our thinking toward lovely, admirable, etc. things and toward the unseen, vs. seen aspects of life. The qualities of suffering [fear, dread, despair, hopelessness] are unseen, as are the qualities of healthy personality [love, joy, peace, freedom, faith and hope].

Do not return evil for evil, nor be overcome by evil; but rather overcome evil with good.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. Rom 12:17,21 Helpful for any believer caught in a desire for vengeance or wanting to hurt someone who has hurt him/her. Couples frequently get caught in this cycle of returning hurt for hurt. This, along with the command to “love your enemies” [Mt. 5:44] frees us from being controlled by the character defects of our loved ones [or “enemies”]. Sometimes this returning evil for evil is being lived out passive-aggressively.

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. {Phlp 4:6-7} There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears is not complete in love. {1John 4:18}

If we pray about the things we would otherwise worry about, and practice a chosen gratitude, peace will supplant anxiety/worry over time. I tell my clients to upgrade worry to healthy “concern.” Never say “I'm worried about….” but rather “I'm concerned about...” Love and gratitude are the enemies of fear and anxiety.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens. Eph 6:12

Our struggle is not against our wife, husband, boss, co-workers, parents, siblings, etc. The struggle is with whatever any of these people can evoke within us. This transforms interpersonal conflict into spiritual warfare—and potentially growth. Remember, Jesus commands us to love our enemies.

Regarding depression:

Then He [Jesus] said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” {Mat 26:38} Jesus experienced deep sorrow—-but continued to love.

We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— {2Co 4:9} There is a foundation underneath all sorrow and hardship below which we cannot fall. “The house stands.” {Mt. 7:25} We can actually rest in our depression.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free the oppressed… {Luk 4:18} Jesus promises freedom from oppression. What is oppressing your clients? What is oppressing you?

“Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mat 11:29-30 Regarding self-care: The way that Jesus wants us to love each other will never excessively drain or deplete us. His yoke is easy, His burden light. He loves the lover [counselor]as much as the beloved [client].

I try to get my clients to measure their growth by how well they are loving their people and by how much more peace, joy, and abundance of life they are experiencing. To make these traits a conscious part of our growth is very powerful.

Regarding Forgiveness: Mt 18: 23-35

OTHER RESOURCES:

Apologetics. For clients who struggle with doubt yet want to increase in faith:

Lee Stroble, The Case for Christ

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Ravi Zacharias: Many YouTube presentations and discussions

Greg Boyd, Letters from a Skeptic: A Son Wrestles with His Father's Questions about Christianity. Free download online
"Universe: Accident or Design" This blog site

Near Death Experiences

Eben Alexander, M.D. [neurosurgeon] Proof of Heaven, and multiple online accesses

Mary C. Neal, M.D. [orthopedic spine surgeon] To Heaven and Back, and Seven Lessons From Heaven plus much YouTube access.

I also recommend Eckhart Tolle's books and on-line meditations

IMAGINE

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there will ever be to know and understand.” Albert Einstein

Imagine that you thoroughly believed in the one and only God of this universe:

A conscious being Who IS LOVE! Light; Freedom; Peace; Joy; ultimate Truth; Eternal; Infinitely Wise and Powerful.

The God of Jesus Christ. A Loving Parent Who commands us to love each other but Who chooses not to control us, but rather gives us freedom, even to do evil [live dysfunctionally].

Who gives us His Holy Spirit as an internal Guide and empowerment to live a truly successful life regardless of genes, circumstances, history, or upbringing.

Who promises to be with us always, even to the end of the world.

Who promises to bring us to a place of spiritual completion—the fulfillment of our heart's desires.

Who tells us plainly that we will have tribulation, but that we can overcome it all by abiding in His Spirit.

Who is working ALL things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Rom 8:28

Who loves others as much as He loves you; and holds you accountable for how you treat them.

Who can and will spiritually protect you from being defeated by evil.

Who promises peace, joy, abundant and eternal life!

Who offers rest for the beleaguered soul.

Imagine that you had come to know, through and beyond doubt, that this is Truth. And that this Truth had dawned in you like a sunrise, and was now rising higher, like the sun going toward the full light of day.

Feel the Power of that Truth to set you free. The God of the entire universe is the Creator and Source of all Love: mother love, father love, brother and sister love, man-woman love…

That the God of the universe actually is this love—magnified by the power that could create a billion galaxies!

Imagine that you regularly called yourself into a mindfulness of this Reality; lived in the Light of it; peacefully bound yourself to it through devotional living, loving service, meditation and prayer. Imagine that you did all this with a growing peace and confidence born out of honestly and carefully facing doubts and fears; that you had looked deeply into the alternatives of Faith and found them all lacking and untenable. And that now, flowers, birds and children could call you into a place of delight, gratitude and deeper faith.

Imagine that when disaster blindsided you through a death or a diagnosis, you accepted it peacefully as one of the tribulations that your Lord had prepared you for; and you began immediately, without denial or minimization, finding blessings amid the tribulation.

Imagine that you knew that your reason for being here was to learn to love, and to practice and perfect this love; and that your God and Creator knew this about your heart, and was well-pleased with you, even though your practice was weak and very imperfect. [This is Grace!]

Imagine that what those who've had near death experiences are telling us is true: That there is indescribable love, peace and completion on the other side of death; to such an extent that a loving mother does not have a desire to return to this earth-life.

Imagine that you are free – with an infinite and growing freedom that is not based on politics or nationality or circumstances; a freedom that can not be taken away from you because it transcends earthly realities.

Imagine that the God of All has revealed Himself as our Friend!

O Holy Father and Mother, Creator and Sustainer of All,

The Conscious Core of the universe, beyond all concepts, beyond all labels, beyond all religions; the Giver of all that is. Help us to know You as You are. May we feel Your Love inwardly, and therefore know, beyond all doubt, that we can Trust You in life and in death. 

Fill our hearts with Love and Peace and Gratitude. We are thankful to You, O God, for life. You have given us Life. Our consciousness is a product of Your consciousness. And we are alienated from Your consciousness only as we are in darkness—the darkness that You allow, in order for us to be free and for our lives to have meaning. We recognize that there are many in this world who do not believe that You exist or who have different ideas about You. We have come to know You through Christ, Who has revealed You as a loving parent: patient, merciful and kind; but also Who commands, and Who has the rightful authority to command us to love each other. We understand that You, O God, are Love—the love that you have put within us for our children! You are constrained, in Your infinite freedom, only by this Love. And we are also only constrained by it. This is a joyful restraint! It is the constraint of freedom. And You, O God, have always demanded that Your people be free. We receive, in this moment, the gift of knowing that we are free, and allow ourselves, with Your permission, to feel this freedom and the peace it brings into our souls.

The Peace that we find in You O God is also constrained by this Love. We recognize the unnecessary suffering that we inflict upon ourselves because we have not known, understood and submitted to this Love. We are appalled that men still brutally kill men, women, children---that there is hatred in our hearts toward each other, and that, even in our most mature relationships there are lapses of selfishness and abuse. We recognize that we have work to do. We pray for the Peace of Christ as we do this work. Help us to be neither lazy nor compulsive in this work of Love. Help us to be diligent---and peaceful. Help us to overcome our fear of man, what he thinks about us or what he can do to us. But, please Lord, help us to never stop loving him and working for his freedom from all oppression; as we allow Your Spirit in us to keep us free from oppression—even the frustrations of our own and our peoples' failures and ignorance. Help us to take to heart Your prayer from the Cross: “Father forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing.”

Thank You for Grace—Amazing Grace—that enables us to live free from both denial and guilt. It is only in Your Love that we can look at some of the ugliness in ourselves; and it is only by Your Grace that we can be “cleansed from all unrighteousness.” Thank You for giving us the Righteousness of Christ—unspeakable gift! We receive Your Grace, forgiveness, and cleansing with deep gratitude and the humility that recognizes that we did not earn it, nor are we entitled to it; any more than we were entitled to life on this planet. You give deliverance as freely as You have given life---deliverance from all oppression. In this moment, we allow ourselves, with Your permission, to feel free from all fear; to embrace our fears in Faith. We allow ourselves to feel forgiven and healed of all the ways our souls have been twisted by the darkness that is in our world. Free from all oppression.

We seek only to be motivated by Your Universal, Divine Love—Love for all sentient beings, for life and goodness and truth—for all the love that has been and is being expressed in the human family—for kindness and generosity of heart—for the innocence of childhood, and for the opportunity to return to it ourselves—for the delivering power of forgiveness. And for the confidence of Your promises: to be with us always, even to the end of the world; to complete the work that You have begun in us—to give us eternal life—to empower us to love effectively with eternal results.

We renew our devotion to be obedient to You by loving others as we love ourselves; and by doing what we can to facilitate the expansion of Your Love in the hearts of humans—to work for Your Kingdom.

Amen—Let it be so—Amen.

Imagine

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there will ever be to know and understand.” Albert Einstein

Imagine that you thoroughly believed in the one and only God of this universe:

A conscious being Who IS LOVE! Light; Freedom; Peace; Joy; ultimate Truth; Eternal; Infinitely Wise and Powerful.

The God of Jesus Christ. A Loving Parent Who commands us to love each other but Who chooses not to control us, but rather gives us freedom, even to do evil.

Who gives us His Holy Spirit as an internal Guide and empowerment to live a truly successful life regardless of circumstances, history, or upbringing.

Who promises to be with us always, even to the end of the world.

Who promises to bring us to a place of spiritual completion—the fulfillment of our heart's desires.

Who tells us plainly that we will have tribulation, but that we can overcome it all by abiding in His Spirit.

Who is working ALL things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Rom 8:28

Who loves others as much as He loves you; and holds you accountable for how you treat them.

Who can and will spiritually protect you from being defeated by evil.

Who promises peace, joy, abundant and eternal life!

Who offers rest for the beleaguered soul.

Imagine that you had come to know, through and beyond doubt, that this is Truth. And that this Truth had dawned in you like a sunrise, and was now rising higher, like the sun going toward the full light of day.

Feel the Power of that Truth to set you free. The God of the entire universe is the Creator and origin of all Love: mother love, father love, brother and sister love, man-woman love…

That the God of the universe actually is this love—magnified by the power that could create a billion galaxies!

Imagine that you regularly called yourself into a mindfulness of this Reality; lived in the Light of it; peacefully bound yourself to it through devotional living, loving service, meditation and prayer. Imagine that you did all this with a growing peace and confidence born out of honestly and carefully facing doubts and fears; that you had looked deeply into the alternatives of Faith and found them all lacking and untenable. And that now, flowers, birds and children could call you into a place of delight, gratitude and deeper faith.

Imagine that when disaster blindsided you through a death or a diagnosis, you accepted it peacefully as one of the tribulations that your Lord had prepared you for; and you began immediately, without denial or minimization, finding blessings amid the tribulation.

Imagine that you knew that your reason for being here was to learn to love, and to practice and perfect this love; and that your God and Creator knew this about your heart, and was well-pleased with you, even though your practice was weak and very imperfect. [This is Grace!]

Imagine that what those who've had near death experiences are telling us is true: That there is indescribable love, peace and completion on the other side of death; to such an extent that a loving mother does not have a desire to return to this earth-life.

Imagine that you are free – with an infinite and growing freedom that is not based on politics or nationality or circumstances; a freedom that can not be taken away from you because it transcends earthly realities.

Imagine that the God of All has revealed Himself as our Friend!
Imagine that Jesus was and is the Truth, as He said, and therefore all the above is the only Reality. All else is delusion; a nightmare that He awakens us from.