I saw a lone Canada Goose. Alone. They're almost always in pairs or flocks. Like us--almost always with or around someone. But he/she was alone. And I wondered how it would be to fly alone for a time. To be detached from the need to connect with someone, converse, understand, respond, and all the other stuff we do together; just for a time to be really alone. Detached. What would be there?
Me. Just me.
And whatever was in my present moment. What I could see, feel, hear, smell, perceive. And, for better and worse, what I have stored up in my mind. No need to share or communicate anything. Just be in the moment and with what's in my mind.
Like the great Live oak tree in my back yard.
I also wondered what it would be like to be that tree. I think I am a higher form of life than that tree; so I think I can approach the experience of being a life form that is lower than myself.
So I enter in to that tree.
What's it like. It is alive. We share that in common.
It gives. Food to critters, and a home to some. Shade to me. It cleans and purifies the air I breathe. It gives with no thought of giving. It does not need to give. It is free from that need. Can I be free for a time from that need also? Can I just give without feeling the need to give? Yes. I can do that. It feels good to be free from the need to give--from the need to do anything. Need is a desire--a motivator. I've had it since birth. This tree never has [perhaps]. What's it like not to need anything. Not to need anything--anything at all. To be totally free from need. I hesitate here for a time and let that freedom sink in. It's not so easy to feel free from need. It's not wrong to need; and I can come back to it later. But just for now, I want to feel free from need. I remember that the Bible says "God will supply all your need according His riches in glory through Christ Jesus." I meditate deeply on ALL my need being fulfilled by an omnipresent, loving God. {You might like to stop and meditate on this for a while.}
The tree and the goose, being created by God but not in His image, must always abide in the secret freedom from need, at least in the way I feel need. But they are not aware of the freedom, having never been aware of the need. I can experience the blessing of "freedom" as a conscious process. I can be free, and know that I am free. This could only be possible if I had also known the need, and had spent some time in the pain of that need feeling unfulfilled. I can only know "full" if I have known "empty". The danger is getting lost in "empty" and giving up on "full". I recall Jesus said "I have said these things that my joy might be in you, and that your joy might be full." In my mind I underline FULL and try to press the meaning of that word as it applies to joy down deep, deep, deep into my understanding. I recognize within me some energy that militates against this fullness of joy. Maybe it's some pain or discomfort in my body. [It's going back into the dirt. So I detach from it, beyond a gratefulness for the wonder of it.] Maybe it's a sense of angst about what lies ahead: I know life isn't going to get easy--that I and my loved ones will have some problems, difficulties, setbacks, losses, etc. [I become aware that my angst isn't going to alleviate these; so I let it go.] What else militates against the fullness of joy Jesus promised? A sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. I know that I have not been good always, and that some of the "good" I've done was to impress folks with how "good" I am; or to get a certain response from them that I thought I needed. Do I really deserve joy? No. I think not. [I hear God say, "I don't work on the basis of 'deserve'; something you can be very thankful for. I give and love by nature: It's Who I am. You can still have the fullness of joy. I'm not holding anything against you. Jesus took care of that. That's why He said you can have fullness of joy. Remember Jesus and I are One."] I begin to realise that there is nothing to prevent this fullness of joy. And so I thankfully allow myself to receive it. And I do so with a peaceful understanding that God wants to use me to bring others into this amazing Light. And I joyfully offer myself to that endeavor. That's why I am writing this.
