LCA 2018 Handout

Session 19: Christian Spirituality in Therapy

Mark Graham, M.Div, Ed.D., Covington, LA

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

Discover clients affinity for faith.

Some questions for intake form:

1. Do you have a religious affiliation?

2. Is faith in God an important factor in your life?

3. Would you like to incorporate prayer and Scripture into our sessions?

Feel free to discuss matters of faith with your counselor, or ask any questions about it.

Opening and closing prayers: [with requested permission]

Example of Opening Prayer:

Holy Father/Lord Jesus/Heavenly Father/Creator and Lord of All:

Thank You for giving us life. We recognize that we did not create ourselves nor this beautiful earth that supplies all we need for biological existence. We are thankful for the gift of life. And thank You for the beauty that is all around us. Help us to see this beauty, and to recognize it as a gift of love from You. Thank you for the gifts of music and humor. Thank You that we can laugh...and cry. Thank You for the gift of feelings. Even though some of them are difficult and painful, we know that emotions are a gift also. Please help us to be mindful of our eternal souls—our heart-of-hearts—and to cultivate Love and good will, as You have commanded us, so that we can avail ourselves of the gifts you have promised us: abundant life, peace and joy. Please help us measure our spiritual growth by how well we are loving others, and how much we are growing in the inner experience of peace, joy and abundant life. We accept that this life will not be easy. You told us we would have tribulation in this world. We know that to be true. But You also commanded us to, nevertheless, be of good cheer for You have overcome the world. And You are in us and we are in You. In Your Holy Spirit we also overcome the trials and tribulations of life. Help us therefore to maintain a vibrant hope. We renew our commitment to love the people in our sphere of influence. Whatever our suffering, may we rest assured that we can fulfill Your purposes in our lives. We pray Your blessings upon this session. Please focus us on those things that will be most helpful for our spiritual growth in all areas that are most pleasing to You. Help us to be mindful of Your love for us and for all in our sphere of influence. May our lives always be guided by your Love, Truth and Goodness.

In Christ's Holy name,

Amen

Alternative example of opening prayer:

Jesus promised to be with “two or more who are gathered in my name.” {Matthew 18:20}

Lord, we are gathered in your name.

Thank you for your presence with us.

We ask you to give each of us here a deep inner sense of your presence—your spirit—your profound love for us and for everyone in our sphere of influence.

You have encouraged us to ask, in your name, for what we need. {John 14:13}

We ask for wisdom, and that we might be guided by your Love and Truth.

Help us to face our fears.

Help us see ourselves as we truly are, especially our sinful natures that are weak and blind.

Help us to remember that you love us despite our faults, and are ready to help us overcome.
Help us not to condemn ourselves as we look honestly into our souls.

Thank you for forgiveness and grace!

In obedience to you we also forgive all who have hurt us in any way.

Keep us in your perfect peace. Amen

Example of Post-Session [closing] Prayer:

Lord we thank You for the opportunity to open our hearts deeply in this way, knowing that You are with us to help us deal with whatever has come forth in a healthy and healing manner. Whatever Truth has come forth in this session, may it be a seed planted in the fertile, receptive soil of our souls. May it take root and grow, bearing the fruit of Your Spirit within us: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control. May we be more of everything You created us to become for having gathered ourselves here. May Your will be done in our hearts and minds and lives, and on earth, as it is in Heaven. And may Your Name be praised forever and ever.

Amen

Scripture that is particularly applicable in the counseling process:

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES

Regarding the primary goal of the Christian life:

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

{Jesus} John 13:35

Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. This I command you: that you love one another; as I have loved you, love one another. [Jesus] John 15:12-14

Love your enemies. Bless those who curse you. Do good to those who hate you; and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be the children of your Father in heaven. [Jesus] Matthew 5:44-45.

Jesus said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command.

The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.

All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.” Matthew 22:37-40

Beloved let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God for God is love. 1John 4:7-8

St. Augustine: "Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul."

de Chardin: “Someday, after mastering the wind, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love; and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”

Some powerful verses that are liberating and healing:

In the world you will have tribulation; nevertheless be of good cheer. I have overcome the world.

{John 16:33} Breaks down a mindset of entitlement—to life being easier. Moves us toward acceptance of the innate difficulty of life; and, paradoxically, diminishes suffering—the suffering of non-acceptance. Brings forth the power of acceptance. Cheerfulness is a choice.

I am in you, you in me, and I in the Father. {John 14:20} We also can overcome the world! He is in us. This is profound for those who can receive it.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. {Romans 8:1} We must not condemn ourselves or others, nor receive it from others. To condemn is to judge as damnable; render a guilty verdict.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. {Proverbs 4:23}

We can guard our hearts from toxic relational energy: blame, verbal abuse, criticism, etc.

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. {1John 1:8-9} Breaks down denial. Heals guilt and shame. Emphasize “cleanse”.

Who perceives his unintentional sins? Cleanse me from my hidden faults. {Psalms 19:12} The writer shows great wisdom in acknowledging character defects that have not come into consciousness. C.G. Jung — 'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.'

Love your enemies, bless those who curse you; do good to those who hate you and pray for those who despitefully use you, that you may be the children of your Father in heaven. {Matthew 5:44}

This is helpful for Christian couples who have “fallen out of love” or who don't feel love toward each other. De-emphasizes the romantic concept of love. Also for anyone trapped in hatred of any person. We can hate sin; but not a person. Love is a choice. Jesus, in his love for us, gives us no excuse not to love.

We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. {Romans 8:28}

Sometimes we can see the good that comes from our suffering; sometimes not. Faith reminds us that we will, at some point, see the good in all of it.

Can you find some redeeming value in your tribulations/sufferings? Then there is something to be thankful for---which justifies the following verse:

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. {1 Thessalonians 5:18} “If we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little. And if we didn't learn anything, at least we didn't get sick. And if we got sick, at least we didn't die.” There is always something to be thankful for.

Why is it so easy for you to see the speck in your brother's [spouse's] eye, but so difficult to see the beam in your own eye. Don't be a hypocrite. Get the beam out of your own eye first, then you can see more clearly how to help your loved one get the speck out of there's. {Matthew 7:3-5}

Addresses the blame and defense dynamic: “It's not me; it's you.” Helps couples learn to lead with confession rather than criticism or blame.

Brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. {Philippians 4:8} So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. [2Cor.4:18].

Here is a major component of CBT—the cognitive component—that calls us into mindfulness. What composes our thought life? Peace is promised [Phil 4:9] if we shift our thinking toward lovely, admirable, etc. things and toward the unseen, vs. seen aspects of life. The qualities of suffering [fear, dread, despair, hopelessness] are unseen, as are the qualities of healthy personality [love, joy, peace, freedom, faith and hope].

Do not return evil for evil, nor be overcome by evil; but rather overcome evil with good.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. Rom 12:17,21 Helpful for any believer caught in a desire for vengeance or wanting to hurt someone who has hurt him/her. Couples frequently get caught in this cycle of returning hurt for hurt. This, along with the command to “love your enemies” [Mt. 5:44] frees us from being controlled by the character defects of our loved ones [or “enemies”]. Sometimes this returning evil for evil is being lived out passive-aggressively.

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. {Phlp 4:6-7} There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears is not complete in love. {1John 4:18}

If we pray about the things we would otherwise worry about, and practice a chosen gratitude, peace will supplant anxiety/worry over time. I tell my clients to upgrade worry to healthy “concern.” Never say “I'm worried about….” but rather “I'm concerned about...” Love and gratitude are the enemies of fear and anxiety.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens. Eph 6:12

Our struggle is not against our wife, husband, boss, co-workers, parents, siblings, etc. The struggle is with whatever any of these people can evoke within us. This transforms interpersonal conflict into spiritual warfare—and potentially growth. Remember, Jesus commands us to love our enemies.

Regarding depression:

Then He [Jesus] said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” {Mat 26:38} Jesus experienced deep sorrow—-but continued to love.

We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— {2Co 4:9} There is a foundation underneath all sorrow and hardship below which we cannot fall. “The house stands.” {Mt. 7:25} We can actually rest in our depression.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set free the oppressed… {Luk 4:18} Jesus promises freedom from oppression. What is oppressing your clients? What is oppressing you?

“Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mat 11:29-30 Regarding self-care: The way that Jesus wants us to love each other will never excessively drain or deplete us. His yoke is easy, His burden light. He loves the lover [counselor]as much as the beloved [client].

I try to get my clients to measure their growth by how well they are loving their people and by how much more peace, joy, and abundance of life they are experiencing. To make these traits a conscious part of our growth is very powerful.

Regarding Forgiveness: Mt 18: 23-35

OTHER RESOURCES:

Apologetics. For clients who struggle with doubt yet want to increase in faith:

Lee Stroble, The Case for Christ

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Ravi Zacharias: Many YouTube presentations and discussions

Greg Boyd, Letters from a Skeptic: A Son Wrestles with His Father's Questions about Christianity. Free download online
"Universe: Accident or Design" This blog site

Near Death Experiences

Eben Alexander, M.D. [neurosurgeon] Proof of Heaven, and multiple online accesses

Mary C. Neal, M.D. [orthopedic spine surgeon] To Heaven and Back, and Seven Lessons From Heaven plus much YouTube access.

I also recommend Eckhart Tolle's books and on-line meditations

IMAGINE

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there will ever be to know and understand.” Albert Einstein

Imagine that you thoroughly believed in the one and only God of this universe:

A conscious being Who IS LOVE! Light; Freedom; Peace; Joy; ultimate Truth; Eternal; Infinitely Wise and Powerful.

The God of Jesus Christ. A Loving Parent Who commands us to love each other but Who chooses not to control us, but rather gives us freedom, even to do evil [live dysfunctionally].

Who gives us His Holy Spirit as an internal Guide and empowerment to live a truly successful life regardless of genes, circumstances, history, or upbringing.

Who promises to be with us always, even to the end of the world.

Who promises to bring us to a place of spiritual completion—the fulfillment of our heart's desires.

Who tells us plainly that we will have tribulation, but that we can overcome it all by abiding in His Spirit.

Who is working ALL things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Rom 8:28

Who loves others as much as He loves you; and holds you accountable for how you treat them.

Who can and will spiritually protect you from being defeated by evil.

Who promises peace, joy, abundant and eternal life!

Who offers rest for the beleaguered soul.

Imagine that you had come to know, through and beyond doubt, that this is Truth. And that this Truth had dawned in you like a sunrise, and was now rising higher, like the sun going toward the full light of day.

Feel the Power of that Truth to set you free. The God of the entire universe is the Creator and Source of all Love: mother love, father love, brother and sister love, man-woman love…

That the God of the universe actually is this love—magnified by the power that could create a billion galaxies!

Imagine that you regularly called yourself into a mindfulness of this Reality; lived in the Light of it; peacefully bound yourself to it through devotional living, loving service, meditation and prayer. Imagine that you did all this with a growing peace and confidence born out of honestly and carefully facing doubts and fears; that you had looked deeply into the alternatives of Faith and found them all lacking and untenable. And that now, flowers, birds and children could call you into a place of delight, gratitude and deeper faith.

Imagine that when disaster blindsided you through a death or a diagnosis, you accepted it peacefully as one of the tribulations that your Lord had prepared you for; and you began immediately, without denial or minimization, finding blessings amid the tribulation.

Imagine that you knew that your reason for being here was to learn to love, and to practice and perfect this love; and that your God and Creator knew this about your heart, and was well-pleased with you, even though your practice was weak and very imperfect. [This is Grace!]

Imagine that what those who've had near death experiences are telling us is true: That there is indescribable love, peace and completion on the other side of death; to such an extent that a loving mother does not have a desire to return to this earth-life.

Imagine that you are free – with an infinite and growing freedom that is not based on politics or nationality or circumstances; a freedom that can not be taken away from you because it transcends earthly realities.

Imagine that the God of All has revealed Himself as our Friend!

O Holy Father and Mother, Creator and Sustainer of All,

The Conscious Core of the universe, beyond all concepts, beyond all labels, beyond all religions; the Giver of all that is. Help us to know You as You are. May we feel Your Love inwardly, and therefore know, beyond all doubt, that we can Trust You in life and in death. 

Fill our hearts with Love and Peace and Gratitude. We are thankful to You, O God, for life. You have given us Life. Our consciousness is a product of Your consciousness. And we are alienated from Your consciousness only as we are in darkness—the darkness that You allow, in order for us to be free and for our lives to have meaning. We recognize that there are many in this world who do not believe that You exist or who have different ideas about You. We have come to know You through Christ, Who has revealed You as a loving parent: patient, merciful and kind; but also Who commands, and Who has the rightful authority to command us to love each other. We understand that You, O God, are Love—the love that you have put within us for our children! You are constrained, in Your infinite freedom, only by this Love. And we are also only constrained by it. This is a joyful restraint! It is the constraint of freedom. And You, O God, have always demanded that Your people be free. We receive, in this moment, the gift of knowing that we are free, and allow ourselves, with Your permission, to feel this freedom and the peace it brings into our souls.

The Peace that we find in You O God is also constrained by this Love. We recognize the unnecessary suffering that we inflict upon ourselves because we have not known, understood and submitted to this Love. We are appalled that men still brutally kill men, women, children---that there is hatred in our hearts toward each other, and that, even in our most mature relationships there are lapses of selfishness and abuse. We recognize that we have work to do. We pray for the Peace of Christ as we do this work. Help us to be neither lazy nor compulsive in this work of Love. Help us to be diligent---and peaceful. Help us to overcome our fear of man, what he thinks about us or what he can do to us. But, please Lord, help us to never stop loving him and working for his freedom from all oppression; as we allow Your Spirit in us to keep us free from oppression—even the frustrations of our own and our peoples' failures and ignorance. Help us to take to heart Your prayer from the Cross: “Father forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing.”

Thank You for Grace—Amazing Grace—that enables us to live free from both denial and guilt. It is only in Your Love that we can look at some of the ugliness in ourselves; and it is only by Your Grace that we can be “cleansed from all unrighteousness.” Thank You for giving us the Righteousness of Christ—unspeakable gift! We receive Your Grace, forgiveness, and cleansing with deep gratitude and the humility that recognizes that we did not earn it, nor are we entitled to it; any more than we were entitled to life on this planet. You give deliverance as freely as You have given life---deliverance from all oppression. In this moment, we allow ourselves, with Your permission, to feel free from all fear; to embrace our fears in Faith. We allow ourselves to feel forgiven and healed of all the ways our souls have been twisted by the darkness that is in our world. Free from all oppression.

We seek only to be motivated by Your Universal, Divine Love—Love for all sentient beings, for life and goodness and truth—for all the love that has been and is being expressed in the human family—for kindness and generosity of heart—for the innocence of childhood, and for the opportunity to return to it ourselves—for the delivering power of forgiveness. And for the confidence of Your promises: to be with us always, even to the end of the world; to complete the work that You have begun in us—to give us eternal life—to empower us to love effectively with eternal results.

We renew our devotion to be obedient to You by loving others as we love ourselves; and by doing what we can to facilitate the expansion of Your Love in the hearts of humans—to work for Your Kingdom.

Amen—Let it be so—Amen.