Stress Management: Practical Techniques

STRESS MANAGEMENT: TEN SELF-CARE TECHNIQUES

Many people don't realize it, but stress is a very natural and important part of life. Without stress there would be no life at all!

We need stress (eustress), but not too much stress for too long (distress). Our body is designed to react to both types of stress. Eustress helps keep us alert, motivates us to face challenges, and drives us to solve problems. These low levels of stress are manageable and can be thought of as necessary and normal stimulation.
Distress, on the other hand, results when our bodies over-react to events. It leads to what has been called a 'fight or flight" reaction. Such reactions may have been useful in times long ago when our ancestors were frequently faced with life or death matters. Nowadays, such occurrences are not usual. Yet, we react to many daily situations as if they were life or death issues. Our bodies really don't know the difference between a saber-toothed tiger and an employer correcting our work. It is how we perceive and interpret the events of life that dictates how our bodies react. If we think something is very scary or worrisome, our bodies react accordingly.When we view something as manageable, though, our body doesn't go haywire; it remains alert, but not alarmed. The activation of our sympathetic nervous system (a very important part of our general nervous system) mobilizes us for quick action. The more we sense danger (social or physical), the more our body reacts. Have you ever been called upon to give an extemporaneous talk and found that your heart pounded so loudly and your mouth was so dry that you thought you just couldn't do it? That's over-reaction.
Problems can occur when overactivation of the sympathetic system is unnecessary. If we react too strongly or let the small over-reactions (the daily hassles) pile up, we may run into physical, as well as psychological, problems. Gastrointestinal problems (e.g., diarrhea or nausea), depression, or severe headaches can come about from acute distress. Insomnia, heart disease, and distress habits (e.g., drinking, overeating, smoking, and using drugs) can result from the accumulation of small distress.
What we all need is to learn approach matters in more realistic and reasonable ways. Strong reactions are better reserved for serious situations. Manageable reactions are better for the everyday issues that we all have to face.

ARE YOU A RESPONDER OR AN OVER-REACTOR?
Below are situations that cause stress in some and distress in others. Imagine yourself in each one right now. How are you reacting?

• Driving your car in rush hour
• Misplacing something in the house
• Dealing with incompetence at work
• Being blamed for something
• Getting a last minute work assignment
• Having something break while using it
• Planning your budget
• Waiting in a long line at the grocery store or bank

SOME PRACTICAL HINTS
Basically, we need to modify our over-reactions to situations. Rather than seeing situations as psychologically or physically threatening and thereby activating our sympathetic nervous system, our parasympathetic nervous system (that part which helps lower physiological arousal) needs to be called into play. The following suggestions are designed to reduce distress. Try them. They work!

1. Learn to Relax. Throughout each day, take 'minibreaks." Sit-down and get comfortable, slowly take a deep breath in, hold it, and then exhale very slowly. At the same time, let your shoulder muscles droop, smile, and say something positive like, "I am r-e-l-a-x-e-d." Be sure to get sufficient rest at night. {See my post entitled "Be Still"; also "Christian Meditation:Links"}
2. Practice Acceptance. Many people get distressed over things they won't let themselves accept. Often these things that can't be changed, like someone else's feelings or beliefs. If something unjust bothers you, that is different. If you act in a responsible way, the chances are you will manage stress effectively. Practice/live the "Serenity Prayer."
3. Talk Rationally to Yourself. Ask yourself what real impact the stressful situation will have on you in a day or a week and see if you can let the negative thoughts go. Think through whether the situation is your problem or the other's. If it is yours, approach it calmly and firmly; if it is the other's, there is not much you can do about it. Rather than condemn yourself with hindsight thinking like, "I should have...," think about what you can learn from the error and plan for the future. Watch out for perfectionism - set realistic and attainable goals. Remember, everyone makes errors. Be careful of procrastination - breaking tasks into smaller units will help and prioritizing will help get things done. Thoughts can be like gasoline or like water on the fires of stress.
4. Get Organized. Develop a realistic schedule of daily activities that includes time for work, sleep, relationships, and recreation. Use a daily "thing to do" list. Improve your physical surroundings by cleaning your house and straightening up your office. Use your time and energy as efficiently as possible.
5. Exercise. Physical activity has always provided relief from stress. in the past, daily work was largely physical. now that physical exertion is no longer a requirement for earning a living, we don't get rid of stress so easily while working. It accumulates very quickly. We need to develop a regular exercise program to help reduce the effects of working. It accumulates very quickly. We need to develop a regular exercise program to help reduce the effects of stress before it becomes distress. Try aerobics, walking, jogging, dancing, swimming, and the like.
6. Reduce Time Urgency. If you frequently check your watch or worry about what you do with your time, learn to take things a bit slower. Allow plenty of time to get things done. Plan your schedule ahead of time. Recognize that you can only do so much in a given period. Practice the notion of "pace, not race."
7. Disarm Yourself. Every situation in life does not require you to be competitive. Adjust your approach to an event according to its demands. You don't have to raise your voice in a simple discussion. Playing tennis with a friend doesn't have to be an Olympic trial. Leave behind your 'weapons" of shouting, have the last word, putting someone else down, and blaming. Be a "peaceful responder" rather than an "angry reactor"
8. Quiet Time. Balance your family, social, and work demands with special private times. Hobbies are good antidotes for daily pressures. Unwind by taking a quiet stroll, soaking in a hot bath, watching a sunset, or listening to calming music.
9. Watch Your Habits. Eat sensibly - a balanced diet will provide all the necessary energy you will need during the day. Avoid nonprescription drugs and minimize your alcohol use - you need to be mentally and physically alert to deal with stress. Be mindful of the effects of excessive caffeine and sugar on nervousness. Put out the cigarettes - they restrict blood circulation and affect the stress response.
10. Talk to Friends. Friends can be good medicine. Daily doses of conversation, regular social engagements, and occasional sharing of deep feelings and thoughts can reduce stress quite nicely.

Common Delusions we live by; and their results

Some Delusions We Live By [And Their Results]

1. Delusion of co-dependence: “I can only be happy if someone changes.” [Results in a frustrating life of trying to make someone happy {so you can be happy} or getting them to love you, grow up, stop using drugs, etc.]
2. Delusion of addiction: “I can only feel good when I am using/acting out my addictive behaviors; and somehow this is going to turn out alright—or at least, I don’t have to think about it, especially when I am using/acting out.” [Results in deterioration of the personality, jail, psychiatric hospital, death, or recovery.]
3. Delusion of domestic abuse: “I can force someone to love me or find happiness in making someone dependent on me or imprisoning them in my domain of control.” [Results in a miserable life of enslavement for the spouse, and constant, vigilant insecurity for the controller.]
4. Delusion of materialism: “At some point I will accumulate enough to be at peace.” [How much is enough? Always a little bit more.]
5. Delusion of romance: “I can only be happy if I am ‘in love.’ If I don’t have romantic feelings for my mate, it is his/her fault; or even if not, I must find a new mate to be ‘in love’ with.” [Results in a lonely, frustrated old age.]
6. Delusion of denial: “If I can avoid the difficult truth about myself long enough, it will go away, or I will die and never have to face it. If others don’t know it, it will not hurt me.” [Results in desperate alienation.]
7. Delusion of anxiety: “There is something other than God to fear.” [Results in, well, anxiety.]
8. Delusion of victimhood: “I could have been happy if they had not done what they did to me, or if they would stop doing it. My unhappiness is their/his/her fault.” [Results in depression, feelings of hopelessness, much complaining, resentment, chronic anger, passive aggression, or quiet desperation.]
9. Delusion of inferiority: “I am not as good as others, therefore I have to prove that I am equal, or at least OK. I must point out others’ faults so they will see they are no better than me.” [Results in good feelings when others fail. A constant nagging sense of not being good enough. Competitiveness. Workaholism. Judgementalism. Tendency to gossip. Critical spirit.]
10. Delusion of entitlement: “I deserve a good life, good treatment, smooth sailing, good service, being loved, sex any way I like it, pleasure and comfort.” [Results in chronic frustration of life/people not giving me what I feel entitled to.]
11. Delusion of guilt: “I have done something—many things, I’m not sure exactly what, that are shameful and unforgivable, and put me forever outside the grace of God and all good and decent people. I do not belong with those who are really good. If they really knew me, they would despise me or reject me.” [Results in failure to draw near to God, avoidance of church, and/or feelings of alienation.]

Separation of Church and State

SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE

Misusing History

Thomas Jefferson's "wall of separation" metaphor allowed the Supreme Court to redefine church-state law and policy—and not necessarily in a good way.

Daniel Dreisbach | posted 11/12/2008 02:13PM

The bitterly contested election of 1800 brought the question of religion's place in civic life to the forefront and provided the backdrop to Jefferson's phrase "a wall of separation between Church & State." Was Jefferson correct to say the First Amendment built a "wall of separation"? Or does the modern Court's use of this famous metaphor actually distort our understanding of the First Amendment?

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." Many Americans believe that these 16 words from the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment built a "wall of separation" between church and state. The media, academics, and even the U.S. Supreme Court frequently reinforce this notion.

Does the Constitution, in fact, erect a "wall of separation"? More important, does it matter that this wall has become so influential in American law and policy?

On New Year's Day, 1802, President Thomas Jefferson wrote a letter to the Baptist Association of Danbury, Connecticut, endorsing the persecuted Baptists' aspirations for religious liberty. The First Amendment, he wrote, denied Congress the authority to establish a religion or prohibit its free exercise, "thus building a wall of separation between Church & State."

In 1947, the U.S. Supreme Court "rediscovered" Jefferson's metaphor: "In the words of Jefferson," the justices declared, the First Amendment "erect[ed] 'a wall of separation between church and State' … [that] must be kept high and impregnable. We could not approve the slightest breach." This landmark ruling in Everson v. Board of Education had enormous repercussions for the role of religion in public life. The Court, it would seem, sought to legitimate its decision in this case by appealing to a giant figure in American history. The Jeffersonian metaphor may be the Court's most celebrated use of history in contemporary jurisprudence. It is, in fact, a misuse of history because Jefferson's "wall" misrepresents constitutional principles in several important ways.

First, Jefferson's metaphor emphasizes separation between church and state—unlike the First Amendment, which speaks in terms of the non-establishment and free exercise of religion. Jefferson's Baptist correspondents, who agitated for disestablishment (the elimination of an official "state church") but not for separation, were apparently discomfited by the figurative phrase. They, like many Americans, feared that the erection of a wall would separate religious influences from public life and policy. Few evangelical dissenters challenged the widespread assumption of the age that a self-governing people must be a moral people and that morals can be nurtured only by the Christian religion. They believed religion was an indispensable support for civic virtue and political prosperity, and its separation from public life necessarily imperiled social order and stability.

Second, a wall is a bilateral barrier that inhibits the activities of both the civil government and religion—unlike the First Amendment, which imposes restrictions on civil government only. Replacing the First Amendment with a wall unavoidably restrains religion, especially in its ability to influence public life, thereby exceeding the limitations imposed by the Constitution.

Third, having assumed the separation of church and state, the civil state (often acting through the judiciary) has then presumed to define what is "religion" and what are the appropriate realms, duties, and functions of the "church" in a civil society. This has given the civil state practical, de facto priority over the church, subjecting the latter to the jurisdiction of the former.

Originally a restriction on the civil government's powers, the First Amendment has been reinterpreted to grant power to the government to define and, ultimately, restrict the place of religion in society. Herein lies the danger of this metaphor. Today people frequently invoke the "wall" to separate religion from public life, thereby promoting a religion that is essentially private and a civil state that is strictly secular.

The "high and impregnable" wall constructed by the modern Court inhibits religion's ability to inform the public ethic, deprives religious citizens of the civil liberty to participate in politics armed with ideas informed by their spiritual values, and infringes the right of religious communities and institutions to extend their prophetic ministries into the public square. Jefferson's figurative barrier has been used to silence the religious voice in the marketplace of ideas and to segregate faith communities behind a restrictive wall.

Those who criticize modern constructions of the wall are not necessarily supporting a religious establishment. Rather, these critics contend that the First Amendment requires that religion and religious perspectives must be allowed to compete in the public sphere, without government inhibition, on the same terms as their secular counterparts. By its very nature, however, a high wall does not permit this.

The use of Jefferson's metaphoric wall to exclude religion from public life is at war with our cultural traditions insofar as it shows a callous indifference toward religion. It also offends basic notions of freedom of religious exercise, expression, and association in a pluralistic society. Unfortunately, the Supreme Court's "high and impregnable" wall has redefined First Amendment principles, transforming a bulwark of religious liberty into an instrument of intolerance and censorship.

Daniel L. Dreisbach is professor of justice, law, and society at American University and author of Thomas Jefferson and the Wall of Separation between Church and State (2002).

America and Freedom

America and Freedom

We cannot set people free. They can only set themselves free – one individual at a time. We can make space in a political system for freedom to grow, in the same way that we can clear land and plant a seed; but we cannot make it grow. Freedom – the spirit of freedom – can be caught, recognized, discovered, cultivated, offered; and it can be ignored, thrown away, lost, feared and oppressed.

Democracy only works in a spiritually mature population. If government is “by” the people, then the people have to be mature enough to work for the common good rather than selfishly accumulate power and wealth. Education is not enough to insure the survival of a democracy; spiritual maturity is an absolute necessity. Sociopaths can be very intelligent and have many degrees. But perhaps even sociopaths can be converted!

In America we have a great opportunity to grow beyond the never-ending desire for more, bigger and better “stuff”. We have a great opportunity to overcome our addictions to pleasure, entertainment and comfort. We will enjoy our “stuff” and our pleasures so much more if we are not addicted to them – if we are sharing ourselves compassionately with others in the human family [which Martin Luther King, Jr. called, the “beloved community”]. We have perhaps the greatest opportunity in history to rise above our lower selves, embrace our “shadow” without being determined by it, confess our sins and receive forgiveness, be empowered by the Holy Spirit, follow in the Way of Christ, receive the best gifts from all religions, traditions and denominations. We have the great opportunity to become very sincere in our efforts to move beyond preoccupation with the material world, while working peacefully and thankfully to make it better for the next generation and for ourselves. In short, we now have the great opportunity to move into the next level of inner freedom, understanding and compassion. The Truth that we need is all around us, but if we do not stop, be still, listen, pray, meditate, seek; we will miss it. We will miss the Main Thing. Jesus said it this way: “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all the other things will be added to you.” [Mt.6:33]


Robert Hutchins was dean of Yale Law School and then president and chancellor of the University of Chicago.  He warned, "The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush.  It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment."  Abraham Lincoln was more optimistic, claiming that "the ballot is stronger than the bullet."  The survival of our democracy after his assassination proved his point. Jim Denison

Politics

Much ado about politics today. I voted, and I hope you did also. And I hope our politicians will make good decisions that will move our nation forward in ways that enhance our quality of life. I pray for them—I really do. Whether I like and agree with them or not. Especially if not!

But I don't see the answer to our basic problems in politics. Politics is more like a barometer of what's going on in a nation than a determiner of it. There is no political system that can cure the ailments of the human heart. And it is from the heart that all our problems come. The only solution is the conversion of the human heart—the transformation and renewal of the mind that comes with embracing Jesus Christ as the Messiah, receiving the seed of His Holy Spirit within us, nurturing that seed so that it grows into compassion, kindness, patience, discernment of truth, courage, self-restraint, civility, and a sincere desire and willingness to sacrifice for the common good. These traits displace baser qualities: selfishness, greed, hostility, judgmentalism, lust for power, demagogy, hatred, apathy, and a general spiritual blindness that cannot discern truth from deception.

The basic, simple, yet profound admonitions of Christ to recognize only one God, to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love others as we love our selves—even to love our enemies—this is the solution to the problems faced by politicians and all people of the earth. To sincerely practice this Way of Love: recognizing that God is Love, practicing this Love in our daily living, keeping peace within our selves—the peace that comes from faith in the God of eternity Who Loves us and is working all things together for good; not fearing evil nor being intimidated by it; speaking the Truth of Christ, even if it is offensive to some, but never being deliberately offensive; staying free from the attachments of this world, but always caring for those who are lost in it; keeping our hearts open to Christ so that His Holy Spirit can be manifesting through us into this world; bringing His Light into the affairs of man, but not getting lost in those affairs; praying for wisdom regarding how best to use our resources and gifts to further the Kingdom of God; this is how we “overcome the world”. This is how we solve the world's problems. It is a very personal endeavor. And every day we walk in victory, light, peace and love. Every day we overcome the problems of the world—every moment! We don't have to wait til the next election; nor should we put too much stock in this one. It is so easy for us to forget that the solution to our problems is not in Washington: it is in our own hearts.

Mark Graham

Flesh and Spirit

There's a tug-of-war between the flesh and the Spirit. Flesh tries to pull the spirit into it, envelop, suppress, and destroy it.
Desires, pain, fear, idle mind-wanderings, human needs--all pull us into the darkness of SELF.
We have all been lost in the SELF, and to some degree are still partially lost in it.  We "see through a glass darkly".  
Like a rocket ship that exerts tremendous energy to escape earth's gravity, we must exert tremendous energy to escape the FLESH. But, also like the rocket ship, the further we go, the lighter the downward pull.
The effort we make is to stay mindful of Emmanuel--God with us.  To pull everything we've got up into Christ-in-us--His magnanimous Love for us and in us--the Love that has overcome the world.
Our most supreme desire is to simply rest in Him who has overcome all flesh--the whole "world". In Him we do what we're supposed to do, think rightly, live peacefully, shining the Light of His Love into the world. In Him we are not deterred by tribulations or by the opinions of people. We simply love all of them, even our "enemies".
This Freedom to Love and Empowerment to Love is the fulfillment of all desire. It is like coming Home.  In Christ we are in eternity--no beginning, no end.  We have arrived at where we had always been, but had never been able to receive the blessing of it. Now we know the BLESSING.
We lie down in green pastures beside still waters. Our soul is restored.  We are no longer divided within ourselves.  We are AT-ONE through Jesus with God the Creator of the cosmos, the Giver and Sustainer of life, Who is still, even though we are at one with Him, transcendent and far beyond us. But we rest in our completeness in Him, and in the promise that He will bring us to completion. We can see the movement of our lives toward this completion, and we rest in the assurance of His promise.

Love and Fear

Perfect love casts out fear [1Jn.4:18]:  ALL fear. Even the fear that you might somehow screw this up--this salvation that Christ has purchased for you. How could you screw it up? Those verses in Hebrews Ch. 6 are pretty scary. But let's think about it:  One thing we know for sure is that God loves us.  He IS love. [1 Jn4:8]  He sacrificed His only Son for us.  And since we are created in His image, and we have children, we have a deep connection with that level of love. And we know that when you love someone that much, you don't want them to fear, which is a form of suffering. You want them to have peace [something Jesus promises]. But how could you ever have peace if you could drop the ball in the most important arena of life: eternal salvation? You would have to be in denial--something we know God does not want for us. He is the God of Truth--not denial. So when we look deeply into the Scripture in the Spirit of Christ, we realize that we can rest deeply, even though we know that we are not yet perfected in Him. He has promised to complete this wonderful work He has begun in us [Philp1:6]; and He will never leave or forsake us [Mt.28:20].  We are "sealed" in His Spirit [Eph. 1:13, 4:30].  Our peaceful, joyful work is to be filled with His Love for us, and in us for all. To abide in Christ is to abide in this Love.  And this Love drives out ALL fear.  When we were under the Law we needed fear. Now that we are in Grace, we need only Love.