BRINGING
GOD IN
LCA
Conference 2017, Session 18
Mark
Graham, M.Div., Ed.D., LPC-S, Licensed, Ordained Minister of the
Christian Gospel
Some questions for
intake form:
1. Do you have a
religious affiliation?
2. Is faith in God
an important factor in your life?
3. Would you like to
incorporate prayer and Scripture into our sessions?
Prayer: {example. To
be read or spoken at beginning of session, with client's permission}
Holy Father/Lord
Jesus/Heavenly Father:
Thank You for giving
us life. We recognize that we did not create ourselves nor this
beautiful earth that supplies all we need for biological existence.
We are thankful for the gift of life. And thank You for the beauty
that is all around us. Help us to see this beauty, and to recognize
it as a gift of love from You. Thank you for the amazing gift of
manhood and womanhood, children and family life. We need look no
farther than that to know that You truly love us. Thank You for the
gifts of music and humor. Thank You that we can laugh ...and cry.
Thank You for the gift of feelings. Even though some of them are
difficult and
painful, we know that emotions are a gift also. Please help us to be
mindful of our eternal souls—our heart-of-hearts—and to cultivate
Love and good will, as You have commanded us, so that we can avail
ourselves of the gifts you have promised us: abundant life, peace and
joy. Please help us measure our spiritual growth by how well we are
loving others, and how much we are growing in the inner experience of
peace, joy and abundant life. We accept that this life will not be
easy. You told us we would have tribulation in this world. We know
that to be true. But You also commanded us to, nevertheless, be of
good cheer for You have overcome the world. And You are in us and we
are in You, therefore we also overcome the trials and tribulations of
life. Help us therefore to maintain a vibrant hope. We renew our
commitment to love the people in our sphere of influence. Whatever
our suffering, may we rest assured that we can fulfill Your purposes
in our lives. We pray Your blessings upon this session. Please focus
us on those things that will be most helpful for our spiritual growth
in all areas that are most pleasing to You. Help us to be mindful of
Your love for us and for all in our sphere of influence. May our
lives always be guided by your Love, Truth and Goodness.
In Christ's Holy
name,
Amen
Example of
Post-Session [closing] Prayer:
Lord we thank You
for the opportunity to open our hearts deeply in this way, knowing
that You are with us to help us deal with whatever has come forth in
a healthy and healing manner. Whatever Truth has come forth in this
session, may it be a seed planted in the fertile, receptive soil of
our souls. May it take root and grow, bearing the fruit of Your
Spirit within us: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,
Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control. May we be more of
everything You created us to become for having gathered ourselves
here. May Your will be done in our hearts and minds and lives, and on
earth, as it is in Heaven. And may Your Name be praised forever and
ever.
Amen
An
alternative prayer to
be prayed slowly; meditatively:
Jesus
promised to be with “two or more who are gathered in my name.”
{Matthew 18:20}
Lord,
we are gathered in your name.
Thank
you for your presence with us.
We
ask you to give each of us here a deep inner sense of your
presence—your Spirit—your profound love for us and for everyone
in our sphere of influence.
You
have encouraged us to ask, in your name, for what we need. {John
14:13}
We
ask for wisdom, and that we might be guided by your Love and Truth.
Help
us to face our fears.
Help
us see ourselves as we truly are, especially our sinful natures that
are weak and blind.
Help
us to remember that you love us despite our faults, and are ready to
help us overcome.
Help us not to condemn ourselves as we look honestly into our souls.
Help us not to condemn ourselves as we look honestly into our souls.
Thank
you for forgiveness and grace!
In
obedience to you we also forgive all who have hurt us in any way.
Keep
us in your perfect peace. Amen
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
Regarding the
primary goal of the Christian life:
Greater love has
no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are
my friends if you do what I command you. This I command you: that you
love one another; as I have loved you, love one another. [Jesus]
John 15:12-14
Love
your enemies. Bless those who curse you. Do good to
those who hate you; and pray for those who despitefully use you and
persecute you, that you may be the children of your Father in heaven.
[Jesus] Matthew 5:44-45.
Jesus
said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all
your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most
important command.
The
second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.
All
the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.”
Matthew 22:37-40
Beloved
let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone who loves is
born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God for
God is love. 1John 4:7-8
St.
Augustine: "Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For
love is the beauty of the soul."
de Chardin: “Someday, after
mastering the wind, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall
harness for God the energies of love; and then, for a second time in
the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”
Some
powerful verses that are
liberating and healing:
In
the world you will have tribulation; nevertheless be of good cheer. I
have overcome the world.
{John
16:33} Breaks down a mindset of entitlement—to life being
easier. Moves us toward acceptance of the innate difficulty of
life; and, paradoxically, diminishes suffering—the suffering of
non-acceptance. Cheerfulness is a choice.
I
am in you, you in me, and I in the Father. {John 14:20} We
also can overcome the world! He is in us. This is profound for
those who can receive it.
There
is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
{Romans 8:1} God does not condemn those who have recognized in Christ's Love the solution to their own and the world's problems, and are peacefully motivated to walk in the Light of that Truth. We must not condemn ourselves or
others, nor receive it from others. To condemn is to
judge as damnable; render a guilty verdict.
Above
all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
{Proverbs 4:23}
We
can guard our hearts from toxic relational energy: blame, verbal
abuse, criticism, etc.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. {1John 1:8-9} Breaks down denial. Heals guilt and shame. Emphasize “cleanse”.
Who perceives his unintentional sins? Cleanse me from my hidden faults. {Psalms 19:12} The writer shows great wisdom in acknowledging character defects that have not come into consciousness. C.G. Jung — 'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.'
Love
your enemies, bless those who curse you; do good to those who hate
you and pray for those who despitefully use you, that you may be the
children of your Father in heaven. {Matthew 5:44}
This
is helpful for Christian couples who have “fallen out of love” or
who don't feel love toward each other. De-emphasizes
the romantic concept of love. Also for anyone trapped in hatred of
any person. We can hate sin; but not a person. Love is a choice.
Jesus, in his love for us, gives us no excuse not to
love.
We
know that in everything God works for good with those who love him,
who are called according to his purpose. {Romans 8:28}
Sometimes we can see the
good that comes from our suffering; sometimes not. Faith reminds us
that we will, at some point, see the good in all of it.
Can
you find some redeeming value in your tribulations/sufferings? Then
there is something to be thankful for---which justifies the following
verse:
Be
thankful in all circumstances, for this is the will of
God in Christ Jesus for you. {1 Thessalonians 5:18} “If we
didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little. And if we
didn't learn anything, at least we didn't get sick. And if we got
sick, at least we didn't die.” There is always something
to be thankful for, and there is always something to complain about. The choice is ours.
Why
is it so easy for you to see the speck in your brother's [spouse's]
eye, but so difficult to see the beam in your own eye. Don't be a
hypocrite. Get the beam out of your own eye first, then you can see
more clearly how to help your loved one get the speck out of there's.
{Matthew 7:3-5}
Addresses the blame and
defense dynamic: “It's not me; it's you.” Helps couples learn to
lead with confession rather than criticism or blame.
Brothers and
sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if
anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
{Philippians 4:8} So we fix our eyes not on
what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal. [2Cor.4:18].
Here is a major component
of CBT—the cognitive component—that calls us into mindfulness.
What composes our thought life? Peace is promised [Phil 4:9] if we
shift our thinking toward lovely, admirable, etc. things and toward
the unseen, vs. seen aspects of life. The qualities of suffering
[fear, dread, anger, despair, hopelessness] are unseen, as are the
qualities of healthy personality [love, joy, peace, freedom].
Do
not return evil for evil, nor be overcome by evil; but rather
overcome evil with good.
Do not repay anyone evil
for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s
eyes. Rom 12:17,21 Helpful for any believer caught in a desire
for vengeance or wanting to hurt someone who has hurt him/her.
Couples frequently get caught in this cycle of returning hurt for
hurt. This, along with the command to “love your enemies” [Mt.
5:44] frees us from being controlled by the character defects of our
loved ones [or "enemies"]. Sometimes this returning evil for
evil is being lived out passive-aggressively.
Don’t worry about
anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,
which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds
in Christ Jesus. {Phlp 4:6-7}
There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out
fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears is not
complete in love. {1John 4:18}
If we pray about the things
we would otherwise worry about, and practice a chosen gratitude,
peace will supplant anxiety/worry over time. I
tell my clients to upgrade worry to healthy “concern.” Never
say “I'm worried about….” but rather “I'm concerned about...”
Love and gratitude are the enemies of fear and anxiety.
For
our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers,
against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness,
against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens. {Eph 6:12}
Our struggle is not against
our wife, husband, boss, co-workers, parents, siblings, etc. The
struggle is with whatever any of these people can evoke within us.
This transforms interpersonal conflict into spiritual warfare—and
potentially growth. Remember, Jesus commands us to love our enemies.
Regarding depression:
Then
He [Jesus] said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to
death. Stay here and watch with Me.” {Mat
26:38} Jesus
experienced deep sorrow—-but continued to love.
We
are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed,
but not in despair;
persecuted,
but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—
{2Co 4:9}
There is a foundation underneath all sorrow and hardship below which
we cannot fall. “The house stands.” {Mt7:25} We can actually rest
in our depression
The
Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach
good news to the poor.
He
has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight
to the blind, to set free the oppressed… {Luk
4:18} Jesus promises freedom from oppression. What is oppressing your
clients? What is oppressing you?
“Take
up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my
burden is light.” Mat
11:29-30 Regarding self-care: The way that Jesus wants us to love
each other will never excessively drain or deplete us. His yoke is
easy, His burden light.
I
try to get my clients to measure their growth by how well they are
loving their people and by how much more peace, joy, and abundance of
life they are experiencing. To make these traits a conscious part of
our growth is very powerful.
Regarding
Forgiveness: Mt 18: 23-35
“Imagination
is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we
now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world,
and all there will ever be to know and understand.” Albert Einstein
Imagine
that you thoroughly believed in the one and only God of this
universe:
A
conscious being Who IS LOVE! Light; Freedom; Peace; Joy; ultimate
Truth; Eternal; Infinitely Wise and Powerful.
The
God of Jesus Christ. A Loving Parent Who commands us to love each
other but Who chooses not to control us, but rather gives us freedom,
even to do evil.
Who
gives us His Holy Spirit as an internal Guide and empowerment to live
a truly successful life regardless of circumstances, history, or
upbringing.
Who
promises to be with us always, even to the end of the world.
Who
promises to bring us to a place of spiritual completion—the
fulfillment of our heart's desires.
Who
tells us plainly that we will have tribulation, but that we can
overcome it all by abiding in His Spirit.
Who
is working ALL things together for the good of those who love Him and
are called according to His purpose. Rom 8:28
Who
loves others as much as He loves you; and holds you accountable for
how you treat them.
Who
can and will spiritually protect you from being defeated by evil.
Who
promises peace, joy, abundant and eternal life!
Who
offers rest for the beleaguered soul.
Imagine
that you had come to know, through and beyond doubt, that this is
Truth. And that this Truth had dawned in you like a sunrise, and was
now rising higher, like the sun going toward the full
light of day.
Feel
the Power of that Truth to set you free. The God of the entire
universe is the Creator and origin of all Love: mother love, father
love, brother and sister love, man-woman love…
That
the God of the universe actually is this love—magnified by
the power that could create a billion galaxies!
Imagine
that you regularly called yourself into a mindfulness of this
Reality; lived in the Light of it; peacefully bound yourself to it
through devotional living, loving service, meditation and prayer.
Imagine that you did all this with a growing peace and confidence
born out of honestly and carefully facing doubts and fears; that you
had looked deeply into the alternatives of Faith and found them all
lacking and untenable. And that now, flowers, birds and children
could call you into a place of delight, gratitude and deeper faith.
Imagine
that when disaster blindsided you through a death or a diagnosis, you
accepted it peacefully as one of the tribulations that your Lord had
prepared you for; and you began immediately, without denial or
minimization, finding blessings amid the tribulation.
Imagine
that you knew that your reason for being here was to learn to love,
and to practice and perfect this love; and that your God and Creator
knew this about your heart, and was well-pleased with you, even
though your practice was weak and very imperfect. [This is Grace!]
Imagine
that what those who've had near death experiences are telling us is
true: That there is indescribable love, peace and completion on the
other side of death; to such an extent that a loving mother does not
have a desire to return to her children in this earth-life.
Imagine
that you are free – with an infinite and growing freedom that is
not based on politics or nationality or circumstances; a freedom that
can not be taken away from you because it transcends earthly
realities.
Imagine
that the God of All has revealed Himself as our Friend!