Anger: Proverbs

Because we love our people, we temper our anger--like steel, we temper it. We maintain a stern control of how we express our anger. We do not "lose it"; and we make no excuses for our inappropriately expressed anger. If we are unable to bridal our tongue and practice self-control in anger, we will be unsafe in any relationship, because all relationships have frustration, and frustration evolves into anger. And abusive anger will wear down and eventually destroy the love of those who are trying to love us.

ANGER AND CONFLICT: wisdom from proverbs

10: ¹² Hatred stirs up conflicts,

    but love covers all offenses.

¹⁹ When there are many words, sin is unavoidable,

    but the one who controls his lips is wise.

11: ¹⁷ A kind man benefits himself,

    but a cruel man brings disaster on himself.

12: ¹⁶ A fool's displeasure is known at once,

    but whoever ignores an insult is sensible.

¹⁸ There is one who speaks rashly,

    like a piercing sword;
    but the tongue of the wise [brings] healing.

²⁰ Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil,
    but those who promote peace have joy.
13: ² From the words of his mouth,

    a man will enjoy good things,
    but treacherous people have an appetite for violence.

¹⁰ Arrogance leads to nothing but strife,

    but wisdom is gained by those who take advice.

14: ¹⁶ A wise man is cautious and turns from evil,

    but a fool is easily angered and is careless.

¹⁷ A quick-tempered man acts foolishly,

    and a man who schemes is hated.

15: ¹ A gentle answer turns away anger,

    but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

¹⁶ Better a little with the fear of the LORD

    than great treasure with turmoil.

    ¹⁷ Better a meal of vegetables where there is love

    than a fattened calf with hatred.

    ¹⁸ A hot-tempered man stirs up conflict,

    but a man slow to anger calms strife.

³¹ An ear that listens to life-giving rebukes ^(AI)

    will be at home among the wise.

16: ¹⁸ Pride comes before destruction,

    and an arrogant spirit before a fall.

²⁷ A worthless man digs up evil,

    and his speech is like a scorching fire.

    ²⁸ A contrary man spreads conflict,

    and a gossip separates friends.

³² Patience is better than power,

    and controlling one's temper, [exemplifies greater strength] than capturing a city.

17: ¹ Better a dry crust with peace

    than a house full of feasting with strife.

¹⁴ To start a conflict is to release a flood;

    stop the dispute before it breaks out.

¹⁹ One who loves to offend loves strife;

    one who builds a high threshold invites injury.

²⁷ The intelligent person restrains his words,

    and one who keeps a cool head
    is a man of understanding.

18: ⁶ A fool's lips lead to strife,

    and his mouth provokes a beating.

⁷ A fool's mouth is his devastation,

    and his lips are a trap for his life.

⁸ A gossip's words are like choice food

    that goes down to one's innermost being.

¹³ The one who gives an answer before he listens—

    this is foolishness and disgrace for him.

¹⁷ The first to state his case seems right

    until another comes and cross-examines him.

¹⁹ An offended brother is [harder to reach]

    than a fortified city,
    and quarrels are like the bars of a fortress.

²¹ Life and death are in the power of the tongue,

    and those who love it will eat its fruit.

19: ³ A man's own foolishness leads him astray,

    yet his heart rages against the LORD.

¹⁹ A person with great anger bears the penalty;

    if you rescue him, you'll have to do it again.

20: ³ It is honorable for a man to resolve a dispute,

    but any fool can get himself into a quarrel.

²⁰ Whoever curses his father or mother —

    his lamp will go out in deep darkness.

²² Don't say, "I will avenge this evil!"

    Wait on the LORD, and He will rescue you.

21: ⁷ The violence of the wicked sweeps them away

    because they refuse to act justly.

 ⁸ A guilty man's conduct is crooked,

    but the behavior of the innocent is upright.

¹⁹ Better to live in a wilderness

    than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife.

²³ The one who guards his mouth and tongue

    keeps himself out of trouble.

22: ²⁴ Don't make friends with an angry man,

    and don't be a companion of a hot-tempered man,

 ²⁵ or you will learn his ways

    and entangle yourself in a snare.

24: ²⁹ Don't say, "I'll do to him what he did to me;

    I'll repay the man for what he has done."

25: ²⁸ A man who does not control his temper

    is like a city whose wall is broken down.

26:¹⁸ Like a madman who throws flaming darts and deadly arrows,
¹⁹ so is the man who deceives his neighbor

    and says, "I was only joking!"

²¹ As charcoal for embers and wood for fire,

    so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.

²⁴ A hateful person disguises himself with his speech

    and harbors deceit within.

²⁵ When he speaks graciously, don't believe him,

    for there are seven abominations in his heart.

²⁶ Though his hatred is concealed by deception,

    his evil will be revealed in the assembly.

27: ⁴ Fury is cruel, and anger is a flood,  but who can withstand jealousy?

28: ¹⁴ Happy is the one who is always reverent,

    but one who hardens his heart falls into trouble.

29: ¹ One who becomes stiff-necked,  after many reprimands  will be broken suddenly— and without a remedy.

⁸ Mockers inflame a city,

    but the wise turn away anger.

⁹ If a wise man goes to court with a fool,

    there will be ranting and raving but no resolution.

¹¹ A fool gives full vent to his anger,

    but a wise man holds it in check

²⁰ Do you see a man who speaks too soon? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

²² An angry man stirs up conflict,

    and a hot-tempered man increases rebellion.

30: ³³ For the churning of milk produces butter,

    and twisting a nose draws blood,
    and stirring up anger produces strife

Eccl. 7:10:  Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
 for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Job 36:13 The godless in heart cherish anger; they do not cry for help when he binds them.

Because we love our people, we temper our anger--like steel, we temper it. We maintain a stern control of how we express our anger. We do not "lose it"; and we make no excuses for our inappropriately expressed anger. If we are unable to bridal our tongue and practice self-control in anger, we will be unsafe in any relationship, because all relationships have frustration, and frustration evolves into anger, and abusive anger will wear down and eventually destroy the love of those who are trying to love us.