Character Transformation

Fear and desire can cause one to suppress his true character for a time. We use this to shape the habits, and hopefully the character, of our children. For example, we use their fear of consequences and their desire to please their parents to get them to behave properly--to suppress the bad behaviors and exhibit the good ones. In adulthood, as in childhood, if the character is not permeated and transformed, this is basically manipulative. And we do not mind our children manipulating us in this way; they are at least forming a habit of good behavior.  But we pray that they will eventually realize the eternal value and rationality of being truly good--or at least aspiring to it.  In adulthood, as with so many other aspects of life, this issue is more grave. A man, for instance, can suppress his misogynous character in order to charm a woman to have sex with him, perhaps even to marry him.  His desire  causes him to suppress his true character. But his meanness will eventually emerge. A single mother may desperately need a man to help her raise her children, so she pretends to love a man of means for whom she has no real attraction. But it is very difficult to feign attraction over time.
Jesus transforms the heart--the very inner character of the believer. When I look deeply into my own heart, and based on what I see in those who have allowed me to look deeply into their hearts [and since I am a counselor, that is a significant number of people] this inner transformation seems to be a necessary process for the attainment of true maturity. And it is an ongoing process. When it occurs within you, you understand why Christians are evangelical and why they proselytize. It's because they love the human family.