Growth [Spiritual]

GROWTH

We start out not knowing what we are doing; and not knowing that we do not know. [Eden]

We begin to believe that we know what we are doing long before we actually do. [The Fall]

After many painful episodes of failure, we [hopefully] begin to realize that we don’t know what we’re doing, and begin to feel some anxiety. {“Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear.”*}

This is the beginning of wisdom.

We begin to see that there are powers beyond us—far greater powers—that have largely determined the course of our lives. We begin to see that our will and the choices we have made exist in a vast ocean of currents and forces that have concurrently steered our lives.

Others have made better decisions, and fared worse than us; or worse decisions, and fared better. Outcome is not determined solely, perhaps even primarily, by our decisions.

[A king's heart is a water channel in the LORD's hand: He directs it wherever He chooses. Prov 21:1] [A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD determines his steps. Prov. 16:9]

We thought that we were like dolphins in this ocean—that, by our will, we could power our way from one corner of it to the other, leap into the air, and find and capture all the food we needed. Now we begin to see that we are more like jellyfish, with a tiny bit of power to propel and steer in this vast ocean; but primarily moved by the powerful currents. We begin to see that, though we thought we were moving ahead at some times in our life, we were actually traveling forward at 2 knots into a 5-knot current. Those who seemed to be dolphins were actually jellyfish who, through no effort of their own, happened to be caught up in a powerful current flowing in the direction of their will. Many who seemed to be strong were dashed to death on the reefs, or ensnared by nets or hooks, or taken for food by something bigger and faster than they [and us.]

In our fear, we may try to harness or control these mighty forces and currents. We pray, or chant, or make sacrifices; we dance, have rituals, or séances. We prostrate, plead, and perform. We may seem to have a little success; but doubt nags. If we don’t have enough success, we may become bitter, hard, and hopeless. Much success may lead us to believe that we have made the mystical connection between our will and the forces beyond us. [This places us in jeopardy of the pride that precipitates a plunge.]
 In either case, death looms, with some important message that we fear, but need to hear.

If we contemplate this matter deeply enough, and with enough humility, and if we simply open our eyes to all that is around us and look deeply into it—if we open our heart—we may be blessed to begin to receive a great Gift: Faith in the One behind and within all these forces and currents in and beyond this great ocean of life. Faith that all is allowed and moved by Love. [And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him.1Jn4:16] 
We then desire, and begin to allow, our own soul and personality—the core and essence of our being—to be permeated and saturated with this Love. Our little ego dies [thank God!] and we stop grasping for things, and leave off being braced up against things, and we at last relax into this incredibly beautiful ocean of life! [ ..and Grace my fears relieved.*]
Our only effort then becomes to keep the forces that are under our control [the will that steers the energy of our lives] aligned and at one with the great Love, Truth, and Goodness that steers these currents and forces.

We then evolve from jellyfish into those dolphins that can joyfully swim the course of this vast ocean; and then into great seabirds that transcend even this ocean, and fly farther, even beyond the bounds of earth itself. […they will soar on wings as eagles…Is 40:31]

In this great Love, we discover the Freedom and Joy for which we were born. ["I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.” Jesus. Jn15:11]

*From the hymn, Amazing Grace, by John Newton.