ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH?

 

 

"Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.

The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, 'God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.

I fast twice a week, I give tithes of all that I get.'

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me a sinner!'

I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

 [Jesus] Luk 18:10-14

 

I recently witnessed another example of the “Pharisee spirit” illustrated in this story told by Christ:  A husband refusing to look at some aspect of his sinful nature that was hurting his wife, and instead harping, again and again, on his good qualities that should cause her to overlook this one, “small, insignificant” imperfection.  His tone was critical: “How dare you drag me into counseling and bring up this issue! “ He then began a long list of all the things he was doing for her.  He actually put himself in the top ten per cent of husbands in terms of what he was doing for his wife. The problem was, he was exacting a large fee in terms of emotional entitlement from his wife for all his “goodness” to her. He felt entitled to her not bringing up his issues. In his mind, his “goodness” entitled him to overlook his sinful nature manifestations.  He proclaimed that he did not need to change anything about himself; he was doing enough to prove his love for his wife. The fact that it was not enough for her was her fault—something she needed to work on. His wife was not the ungrateful type—she did indeed see his good traits.  She had tried to deal on her own with the comment he had made: “You’re gonna run me off,” that is, he implied that she was acting in ways that might cause him to leave her. This evoked a deep sense of insecurity on her part, and she needed to put it to rest. His reactions, I fear, increased rather than ministered to her insecurity in the marriage.

As so often happens in my counseling practice, I see issues in my clients that I then recognize in myself.  How about you?   Are there areas in your life that still need some improvement, but about which you are assuming that your “goodness” [in other areas] covers? 

The fact that Jesus’ horrific sacrifice covers our sin does not entitle us to stop taking an active part in our sanctification process. We must be very careful to find the balance between feeling forgiven and free from guilt and condemnation [on the on hand], and recognizing that we never attain perfection and always are in need of further growth [on the other].  In truth, we will not be able to abide in Christ’s peace if we are basking in the sunlight of our already-attained “goodness”.

 

Lord, please help us to never grow weary of growing up in You.  Deliver us from the terrible delusion that we are good enough; so that we can rest deeply in Your Grace.